KELSIE'S KITCHEN

DIY

2012-01-27T14:46:00.000-08:00

I have a rather long list of projects I'm hoping to tackle. If I didn't know better, I'd wonder if I might be pregnant and experiencing some form of the nesting phase. Maybe there is such thing as I-have-a-2-year-old-and-a-5-month-old-and-I-need-to-do-something-other-than-change-diapers-and-feed-with-these-hands-of-mine sort of nesting. I'm not quite sure where I expect to find the time to implement this mental list of projects since I can't seem to get the girls to sleep at the same time but who cares about that detail! :) I just need to create!

Sooooooo, I placed an order yesterday for this fabric:

Our dining chairs have white cushions (seriously, who buys dining chair with white cushions and then proceeds to have kids???) Or at least they used to be white. Now I think each and every one of them has at least one giant stain in a variety of colors. So, I am going to recover them with this stain resistant fabric. I ordered a swatch of it first so I could try it out. When I poured water on it, the liquid beaded into droplets and was not absorbed. I even squirted some bright orange sriracha sauce on it and it wiped right off. Anyway, if you haven't already put two and two together, I'm going to attempt to recover all 8 of our chairs.

While I was at it, I also decided to order a yard of each of these fabrics to recover some of our living room pillows. Never thought I'd say this, but I feel the need for CHANGE!!!

Three of our dining chairs sit at the bar in the living room so I'm hoping the pillows will help tie together the green on the chairs with our bright red accent wall. It could end up looking like Christmas all year round, but hopefully not.

Then I've been scouring all the Value Villages in the area for a large frame. We have a huge vase full of wine corks we've been saving and I want to make my own fashionable cork board to hang near the entryway. I'm hoping this will be a great place to post the Christmas pictures you all sent! So far my frame hunt has left me empty handed but I'm sure I'll find one I like somewhere.

In my Value Village treasure hunting, I did come across these silver gems which I'd been in the market for since Christmas. After taking down my garlands, I realized our mantle was a bit barren. We almost spent $60 on some silver pillar candle holders at Ikea but I'm glad we didn't because I scored these for 4 bucks!

Oh and now I'm in the market for another couple yards of fabric to make a 2nd crib sheet for Emma's bed. One is definitely not enough! I'm having a hard time finding anything that doesn't look too busy with the fabric I chose for her crib skirt.

The peaks of sunshine we've been having reminded me that my garden planters are all disintegrating on the patio and that it's time for something new. I'd love to have one BIG one made that I can actually fit a large variety of produce in. So, of course dreaming up a garden planter reminded me that I need to pick out my vegetable seeds for the spring.....

Gosh, there's a LOT more I'm hoping to do but this is sounding like a lot already. One thing at a time. Hopefully I will have some pictures of finished projects to post soon!

Emma: 21 Weeks

2012-01-27T14:17:00.000-08:00

Emma finally rolled over a couple more times for Graham to see on Jan 25th. He was beginning to think I'd made up that milestone. She frequently rolls to her side now to grab toys and can spin herself and scoot up with her feet. She seems to really enjoy rubbing her feet together and is almost always missing at least one sock.

We began our own version of sleep training this week. I just couldn't take the 15 hour days anymore and determined it was time to get her to fall asleep and stay asleep at a set time in the evenings. At first I tried putting her down after Isla around 7:30 or 8 PM but she was beginning to melt down closer to 6:30 so I bumped it up. I'm trying to give her a bottle at 6:30 PM and have her in bed by 7. If I can get my act together, I might even try bottle at 6 and bed at 6:30 but it is proving rather challenging doing all that right at the dinner hour. I can now see why my mom used to feed us at 5:30 PM!

Anyway, she was going down fine at first but then would wake up again anywhere from 15 minute to 2 hours later. We started by letting her cry for 5 minutes and then we'd calm her and then 10 minutes etc but she only got more and more worked up. I re-read my Healthy Sleep Habits book and finally we decided just to let her cry. I know there are a multitude of opinions on this but I believe whole heartedly that she needs to learn to fall asleep and fall back to sleep on her own. So, with Graham's support, I bit the bullet and decided we wouldn't go in there if she started to cry (ok, if we're honest, maybe he decided that one). The first time we tried it, she cried for 1 hour. And then the 2nd night it's like she knew it was coming and so decided not to to go to bed at 7 and cried for a half hour. Then she woke again at her usual 9:30/10 PM mark and we repeated the process. Of course I spent a lot of time crying too. Last night, after 8 or so nights of this, she finally went down without crying and didn't wake up again until 3 AM. Success! I'm feeling better about bedtime but now we need to decide what to do about the middle of the night awakenings and then conquer her cat naps during the day.

Emma is extremely wiggly. She doesn't really sit on your lap anymore but rather tries to catapult herself out of your arms and onto the floor. We've had a couple close calls. She really loves is when I strip her down just to a diaper-all her limbs go crazy.

She is losing her hair by the bunches now, especially after I bathe her. You'd think we had a cat by the look of her sheet and swaddle. Makes me so sad. I know it will grow back, I just loved the way it was.

I think Emma is ready for solids. It's just that I'm not ready yet. She throws herself toward my dinner plate in the evenings and gets really frustrated while we're eating. I'll probably start in the next couple weeks but I'm dragging my feet as I've never been one to believe in starting before 6 months because it's just easier to wait. She obviously has a mind of her own though. Watch.

Isla: 2 Years, 5 months

2012-01-25T04:22:00.000-08:00

Isla is at such a fun age! Maybe all kids are fun at this age but I think she is absolutely hilarious. She comes up with the most random ways to entertain herself which 1) makes me feel boring that I didn't think of the activity myself and 2) makes me thankful she is capable of being creative. Take for instance path building. She likes to collect all the pillows from the living room and lay them out across the floor to build a "path." She also likes to utilize a set of hardcover books on our shelf for the same purpose. Then she asks "Mom go on the path with me?"

Isla can officially spell her name! I just randomly caught her saying "I-S-L-A" one day. I'm trying to teach her to write it now. She asks me to do it all the time so hopefully she will figure it out before long.

I see little bits (ok maybe a lot of bits) of my personality in her. Each of the place settings in her toy dishes set is a different color and the other day I tried to give her a pink fork to go with her white plate. I was immediately corrected and told she would be needing the white fork with the white plate. I've intentionally tried to be very lax about this sort of thing in my play with her as OCD tendencies are not something I want to pass on to her. But apparently it runs in her blood. :)

For whatever reason, the staircase has turned into the bedroom for all her dolls and stuffed animals. She loves to put them down for their naps on the steps and always makes sure to remind me "Mom, be quiet. Ducky is sleeping."

Speaking of Ducky, Isla is coming up with her own little catch phrases. Her latest is to add a "y" to the end of a word and then repeat it again without the "y." Like her ducky is now "Ducky Ducks" and her soap has become "Soapy Soap." I feel like she's done it to a few other words too I just can't recall what they are at present. It makes me laugh.

We have added this wonderful little question to our "most-commonly-used-sentences-in-the-Crozier-household" and it has almost changed our lives from a discipline standpoint. Isla continues to test and test and test. But now when she is testing and bordering on disobeying, we ask her "Isla, are you going to choose to obey or disobey?" It really gets her attention and she stops whatever she is doing and usually responds eagerly "Obey!" and does whatever we ask. Only once did she tell me "Disobey!" and I don't think she was pleased with the consequences so that was the end of that. Yesterday over breakfast she told me out of nowhere "God wants me to obey." (Yes, apparently she is listening!) Then she proceeded to ask me "Where's God?" and so began a popular conversation in our house... She knows "He's in our hearts!" and yesterday she told me He was in Emma's heart too. :)

Isla adores her little sister and I have been particularly touched by how the two are engaging with one another this past month. Isla loves to lay on top of Emma and repeat "We don't share germs!" over and over in her face. (Can you tell she's growing up in a house with two medical professionals as parents?) They both proceed to giggle and laugh and so the cycle repeats. I hate to admit it but my two year old has become a mighty fine little babysitter during dinner prep and clean up time. I'll ask Isla to go give Emma her binky or go make Emma laugh and she will!

I love how Isla says certain words. For whatever reason she has never been able to say "picture." Instead it comes out "pick-shook" and so I had to capture it on video because someday she'll say it right and I'll be sad. She did finally master the word "pool" but it takes a lot of concentration first for her to get it right!

The other day I was changing her diaper and out of no where she told me "Some day when I am bigger and bigger, a boy gonna give me a ring for my finger!" She also told me that she'd like a big girl watch so she can wear it with her running shoes and run for exercise.

She joined me in doing my Jillian Michael's workout DVD a couple times last week while we were snowed in. She used Emma's stacking rings as weights and it was pretty adorable. I'd just been using my 3 pound weights to break myself back in but of course Isla had to ask why I wasn't using the 7 pounders. I told her that I couldn't lift those ones yet so she went the rest of the day repeating that "When mommy is older and older, she'll be able to lift the big green weights." Yes Isla, someday when I'm older.

Isla seems a bit more interested in using the potty over the past couple weeks (I think mostly because it prolongs bedtime). But, we've had two successes in four days so that give me hope. I'm still not pushing it as I know she'll let me know when she's ready.

One of Isla's very favorite words right now is "actually." She often tells me things like "Actually I'd like pasta Mommy" or "My dolly needs a clean diaper actually."

I think we conquered our early morning waking problem where Isla would start wailing at 5 AM for us to come fix her blanket....We told her she was old enough now to fix her own blanket and sure enough, after a few demonstration where we showed her how, she can do it all by herself. Ahhh, the magic of empowering...

As for other favorites, she is loving Spot the dog books, gluing all sorts of "crafts" with her glue stick, having her Daddy tell her made up stories and pretending the coffee table is a slide at the park (ummmm?) She's such a sweetheart and I'm grateful for her every day!

Crozier Christmas 2011, finally

2012-01-19T14:33:00.000-08:00

This post will be a continuation of this post I wrote about Christmas #1 a couple weeks back. After the Christmas Eve service, we headed over to the senior Croziers where we enjoyed a dinner of cheese fondue with chocolate fondue for dessert. We opted to sleep over to make for a less rushed Christmas morn.

We started with stockings...

Yes, I am officially that mom who buys her kids matching Christmas pajamas.

Grandma Crozier served up a delicious breakfast of cinnamon rolls and eggs and each place setting was complete with a cute wooden ornament.

Don't ask me why, but Graham wore these glasses most of the morning...

Auntie Tash and Uncle John! (Of course I would have lighting issues when taking a picture of the professional photographer but I had to document you were there John!)

Had to post a shot that captures the wildest tree ever (17 feet and they ordered a 12 footer...)

Graham and my gift to Isla. She LOVED it and I just loved her reaction. "A new little baby doll for me Mommy!" Nice work Graham--you know your daughter well.

I somehow managed not to get a solo picture of Scott (sorry Scott!) but here you can see him in the background between the stair rails. It's the best I could do!

Grandpa Crozier and the little Cherub

After a soup lunch with just the immediate family, half of us retired to attempt a nap before the big party started. The evening closed with a ginormous gathering of the Davies clan that was quite exciting. Poor Emma was really not feeling well and we were all exhausted from our trip to Mexico so we bid our goodbyes around 7 and took our little sickies home to bed. Twas a Merry Christmas despite being ill!

Starbucks or bust!

2012-01-18T14:44:00.000-08:00

Today is a snow day and Seattle is totally. freaking. out. It cracks me up how unraveled the whole city becomes when snow hits but I gotta admit, the quiet streets and slowed lifestyle is nice every once in a while. This morning we "braved" the weather and plowed (yes, turns out the BOB Duallie doubles as a plow--who knew!?) our way to Starbucks in hopes of finding coffee. Not only were they open, but they were SLAMMED. Apparently none of us have anything better to do that go out to coffee when the snow hits! My dear husband has already made public a comment I made to the Facebook world: "Only people who are saving lives should go to work in the snow...and those who serve coffee." Can I get an AMEN!?

I don't own snow boots. Don't judge!

Graham decided I needed a gargantuan mug-o-jo. I was totally embarrassed by the large size. Enough for tomorrow too!

Yeah, it was huge.

Now Graham has left for work (he's saving lives of course) and us girls are hunkering down for a cozy afternoon at home. Happy snow day, Seattle!

Emma: 20 Weeks

2012-01-17T13:38:00.000-08:00

Every week seems to be marked with new successes and challenges! I am thrilled to report that this week we conquered the bottle! I thought the process would take much longer but maybe having three nights out (some work, some fun) the week Emma decided to refuse the bottle actually was a good idea? She got lots of practice with her various caretakers! We have given her one every day since last Monday, each time with less and less refusal. Last night Graham gave her one with zero crying. Hooray! We are warming it at least to room temp now (I gave up my dream of her taking it cold awhile ago...) Now we just have to keep it up....Every. Single. Day.

Sleep, sleep, sleep...that's been the main challenge this week. It's so complicated to figure out any sort of a schedule when you have two because there are so many factors to consider! But I've reached a point where I neeeeeed to get a bedtime established for Emma so I can be guaranteed even just one hour with my hands free during the day to respond to emails or work on MOPS stuff. And sleep training right now is not as cut and dry as it seems given our recent milk supply/growth issues. I would like to feed Emma less in the evening but then want to make sure she's gaining weight as she should. Ultimately my main two goals are: a bedtime before 11 pm and a good afternoon nap that coincides with Isla's. For whatever reason, we just haven't been able to get Emma to sleep (and to stay asleep!) any earlier than 10:30 or 11PM. She'll fall asleep earlier but then wake every hour or two and eat half-heartedly each time until she falls back asleep. I have a couple problems with this: a) I do not want to use feeding as a method to get her to sleep and b) she doesn't actually appear all that hungry. So, I'm attacking sleep this week. I set up the pack 'n play in the guest room with a nice white noise CD so that we can start to let Emma fuss a bit in the evening without waking her sister (this has been the main reason we haven't done it earlier). Graham gave her a bottle at ~7:15 PM with the hopes it would be her last feed for the evening. I laid her down awake at about 8 PM and she went to sleep. As if on cue, she woke up at 9 but I refused to feed her. We took turns giving her the binky and trying to soothe her which was less than successful. Finally Graham picked her up and she was out in minutes. We did not hear from her again until 5 AM--woohoo! Of course, eventually we will try to get her to go back to sleep on her own but I figure we'll take it in steps. I put her back in her own room after her early morning feed because it made me sad to have the girls separated again. :) Emma will spend the whole night back in her room once we get a good bedtime routine.

In other news, Emma is now rolling from her back onto her side to reach for toys. She hasn't made it all the way over that direction but it's progress. She also is arching and craning her neck a lot when she's on her back to see what's above her. I think full on, regular rolling is just around the corner.

Ok, and I gotta close with this one. This is how Emma really feels about these weekly photo shoots (gasp!)

Emma: Weeks 16-19

2012-01-12T22:55:00.000-08:00

We've been too busy partying over here and I got behind on my posts! I guess I missed my traditional bear picture for both week 16 and 17 but oh well, such is the life of the second born.

18 Weeks (1/3/11)

Emma just is quite the social sprite. She likes to be at eye level which has resulted in her joining us on the table in her bouncy seat during mealtimes (yeah, I know, probably not the smartest move but I she is always strapped in....) This will not last long as she no longer really enjoys the bouncy seat. She is, however, way into toys now which is fun.

Emma has discovered numerous new cool sounds her voice can make and shares them with us often. Notice also her mirror giggles and the attractive bald spot on the back of her head. :) (By the way, I'm sooo close to just buying a new camera if I can't get this stretched out video thing figured out soon! Ugg!)

She also loves it when you get right in her face so she can grab your cheeks. She gets super talkative and starts making the best noises. This is a mutually pleasing activity.

Emma caught Isla’s Mexican bug on Christmas Eve and it stuck with her for a good 10 days or so. This is already her second cold (not including her illness that required hospitalization that first week)….I don’t think Isla got sick at all until she was 6 months old at least. Again, the life of the second born!

Other facts about Emma: she flips out when you pull shirts over her head. Note to self: don't try any surprises involving blindfolding when she is older. She immediately starts arching and flailing, doing everything in her power to be able to see again. It's odd.

She really loves it when her older sister plays with her. Isla likes to join her for tummy time and Emma really likes it when she reads to her. It's a win-win situation for all.

Emma's New Years resolution was to quit sleeping through the night and begin waking AND eating about 3 times on average. Of course I later realized this coincided with my milk supply issues so at least we have a reason!

Her nicknames thusfar include: Emmy, Em n Ems and Emmy Bear.

19 Weeks (1/11/12)

This past week can be summed up in one word: TOUGH!! But, then I look at these pictures and can't get over how worth it she is.

Our 4 month peds appointment was not so great. I’ve mentioned most of it but it was when we learned Emma’s weight gain had slowed and that my milk supply had nearly dried up. She weighed 13 pounds, 2.5 oz (25-50th %ile). Thankfully she remained on track with her linear gain and measured 24 1/2 inches (50-75th %ile). She also had what I thought was a zit on her face but it had turned green and the doctor said it was a minor staph infection and so popped it and instructed me to put warm compresses on it followed by Neosporin three times a day. Do you how hard it is to do a lot of things once a day with a baby, let alone three times? Somehow I think I remembered most of the time.

Praise the Lord I was able to preserve my milk supply (so far)! I’m taking this NASTY liquid supplement called MotherLove More Milk Plus (creative, eh?) but it works. I have to remember this one FOUR times a day and can’t drink anything for the 15 minutes before or after. But then I’m supposed to be drinking like there’s no tomorrow to keep my supply up. I tell ya, it’s no wonder I’m losing my mind keeping all this straight.

Of course as if all this wasn't enough, Emma also decided to quit taking the bottle. I'm not sure what she was thinking. If my milk supply had dried up, it would have been her only option. Anyway, she used to just be a bad bottle feeder (milk dribbling everywhere) but this week she actually started refusing the bottle, screaming and arching, the whole kit and kaboodle. At first I thought it was just me and then she wouldn't take one from Graham either. I REFUSE to be the sole feeder so we got right to work on this one and have had some success over the past few days. We are doing a bottle every single day so that she gets it down pat as I'll be returning to work before long here.

Emma went to the nursery for the very first time on Sunday, January 8th. She did great apparently and I was able to listen to the whole sermon! Of course this morning, she woke up all booger-faced, a classic Thursday morning post-nursery occurrence in our house.

But on a positive note, she rolled over for the first time on Monday, January 9th! She went from tummy to back and both Isla and I had the pleasure of witnessing it (I missed Isla's first roll because she did it on my first day back to work, the stinker!) She did it again today when I wasn't looking.

We finally have established a good morning nap that is usually about an hour or so in length. She more or less quit napping (or following a schedule) last week with all that went on so we are still working on our afternoon timing and establishing a bedtime. I have had some success getting both girls to sleep (in separate rooms) around 1:30 or 2 PM but Emma doesn't usually stay asleep for long without some intervention. And bedtime is a whole different story...we're lucky if we can get her asleep by 10 PM. I can usually get her down at 7:30 or 8 PM but she seems to think it's just a nap. Can't wait to reclaim my evenings again!

What a week!

2012-01-08T16:28:00.000-08:00

It's been a crazy week over here. I feel like I always say that but this time I really mean it. I guess it's really been 2 weeks actually. Christmas "vacation" truly ended when I returned back from Bellingham and took Emma for her well check up on Monday. At her appointment the month prior, her Dr was a little concerned that she'd dropped from the 90th to the 75th %ile for weight. She said it wasn't a problem unless she dropped again so encouraged me to pay attention to my milk supply and try and get in the habit of pumping daily. I did my best but seeing that showers are a little hard to come by, it's not surprising that daily pumping sessions were as well. Then we went to Mexico and I wasn't about to pack my pump....and then all of us girls got sick over Christmas which resulted in poor nursing for Emma....I bet you know where this is going.

Back to her appointment on Monday. She dropped to below the 50th %ile--yikes! Looking back, it all makes sense but I was so just trying to survive the busyness of all our Christmas celebrations that I didn't even notice. But in retrospect, it was obvious--my milk supply had tanked! Emma had been waking up to 5 times a night when I was at my parents and I could not figure out why. And she was taking upwards of an hour to eat and never seemed satisfied afterwards. And then when I really thought about it, I realized I wasn't waking up engorged anymore and wasn't experiencing any random mid-day let downs like I had been. I'm sure my own illness, decreased appetite and severe sleep deprivation due to the frequent wakings didn't help anything. My doctor also said 4 months of age is the common time to experience a decrease in milk supply because it is the point in time where your body can no longer draw calories from your reserves to make milk as well. So basically if you aren't eating enough, you won't make enough. This sort of surprised me because I had been *cough* thoroughly enjoying the Christmas goodies so didn't think I could possibly be deficient there!!

So began the week. Ever since Monday morning, I have basically been nursing and pumping every 2-3 hours and then attempting to give her a bottle of milk if she's still acting hungry. I started taking Fenugreek and am now trialing another herbal supplement that is supposed to help. I am drinking more liquid than you would possibly believe and have taken the "increasing my calories" recommendation to heart. I even choked down a chocolate stout and then sort of "enjoyed" a couple Belgian Whites because the nurse practitioners at work always told moms that beer helped. To add to all this, Emma hasn't really been napping (I think she's been hungry) and then I already mentioned how our nights have been going.

Then for whatever reason (maybe she was feeling left out?), Isla decided to make 5 AM her new waking time. All week she has been crying and wailing for about 2 hours every morning, asking us to "come fix my blanket" or "leave the door open" or "turn the light on" or "come pick Isla up." Fun times, eh?

Yesterday morning I woke up and literally the first thing that came to mind was I need to go sleep at a hotel. Ha! But, despite these new challenges, I was sharing with Graham this morning that I thought I'd actually handled it all quite well and was feeling pretty proud of myself. I should be a complete mess, I kept thinking but I was actually feeling really good about the progress we've made.

Of course then I came home and accidentally threw toilet paper in the sink (gross, yes, but not as bad as it sounds and no need to worry, the sink has since been thoroughly disinfected!!) And I found a bottle of breast milk in the cupboard. And I also made dinner plans for tonight, totally forgetting I had a MOPS meeting that I had organized this evening. Well, I may be emotionally and physically healthy, but mentally? That's a whole different story!

Our little Picasso

2012-01-08T06:30:00.000-08:00

Isla has become quite the artsy one lately. I think this is one area where she takes after her Dad. We got her this cute paint-your-own rubber ducky set for Christmas and she was dying to break into it right away.

This was her first time using paints and I think she did quite well if I do say so myself. This magnificent piece of work is her new bath time buddy.

Graham let her loose with the paints on some paper too and thinks her creation is frame-worthy. I haven't taken a picture of it yet but I think it's about time we figure out a way to display and rotate her works of art. Anyone have good suggestions?

Graham always talks about the "Busy Bee Box" his mom made for him when he was young. It contained all things art-related and was a great way to keep him occupied. Isla received TONS of art supplies (stickers, coloring books, pipe cleaners, buttons etc) that I finally put in a little drawer for her as my version of a Busy Bee Box (I think she will soon have one at her Grandma and Grandpa Crozier's house too!). She asks always daily if I will "do a craft" with her. I am loving these special times together watching her create. She definitely takes the all or nothing approach, doesn't she?

Peas!

2012-01-07T23:16:00.000-08:00

The Crozier girls got to spend four blessed days in Bellingham last week while Graham worked. We were all a bit sick so it was wonderful to have helping hands to take care of us. My mom is always so creative. It's now wonder Isla always loves going to Grandma and Grandpa's!

This time the big hit was the tub of dried split pea with stacking cups for digging.

Isla scooped away for over an hour I think (a record for her typical attention span!) and even Emma got in on the action.

She had a good teacher to show her the ropes.

Pretty soon she was scooping away too.

My Dad and Ben were also there and we enjoyed some good family time playing games and doing the hardest 1000 piece puzzle ever (it took all 4 days!)

I didn't have to prepare a meal or do the dishes once (mostly because someone was conveniently needing to be changed or fed or go down for a nap at just the right time) and it was wonderful. I had the most down time I think since Emma was born and now I'm wondering why I haven't gone up there more often for a little "vacation." Both girls get so much attention and Isla hardly needs me because she has so many fun toys to play with.

My girls managed to pee or poop on some article of clothing or pjs every single day we were there (4 for 4!) but my mom was there so I didn't even have to do the laundry. Needless to say, I think I will be going back again soon! Thanks for letting us ring in the New Year with you, Mom, Dad and Ben!

Wilson Christmas 2011

2012-01-07T16:22:00.000-08:00

We arrived home from Mexico late in the evening of the 23rd and then dove right into a Christmas celebration with my family the morning of the 24th. Both our Sweet Peas were sick (look at Emma's sickie eyes!) but still in fairly chipper spirits.

Josh, Silver and Ben, giddy with excitement as if it were Christmas morn.

Because our family has increased to 11 (twelve including Silver!), we set a strict monetary limit of $15 per gift. Someday I'm sure we'll move toward drawing names but we weren't quite ready to do that yet this year. It was a fun challenge trying to pick out a meaningful gift for only $15. Emma's first gift was this adorable "Sherpa" blanket and pillow set from Julia Roberts.

I did not take this picture but found it on my camera. It makes me laugh and I thought it sort of captures Christmas from the perspective of a 15 month old (Gideon).

Then there's this shot...it definitely won't win any photography awards but I thought the chaos of cramming 12 people into our small living area needed to be documented. I love how everyone is just doing their own thing (sorry Lani!)

I needed my coffee something fierce that morning!

Josh felt quite jubilant after opening his exercise bands from us.

And look what Isla got! Her very own leather chair from Josh, Ben and Silver. Love it!

Of course she also had to try out all of Gideon's new toys to make sure he was using them right.

Make sure you read what's written on Graham's new shirt. And I am his proud wife! Mom got a new photo calendar created by yours truly. I think I've created an annual tradition for myself.

Lani got a calendar too and I have no idea what my Dad is opening. There's a pretty good chance it's a HUGE wrench because he got two.

Snuggles (note my stocking is the only one with anything in it--lucky me!)

They'd make such a cute family, wouldn't they? I just had to post this series of pictures because I could not get a good one. Isla kept closing her eyes and then Gideon sneezed...glamorous!

Remember the picture of the chaos also known as the living room? Imagine adding 6 peanut-firing trebuchets to the mix. The gift exchange closed with these killer homemade gifts (see Silver's below), thanks to the woodworking skills of my Dad! It was nuts. Literally. Ha! I found peanuts hiding throughout the house for a week following and there were also quite a few in our tree. :) We decided our trebuchet is going to be a special toy we pull out at Christmas time and hopefully it will become a great tradition our kids look forward to. So cool, Dad!

Following the gift exchange, we had a hot breakfast of chocolate-filled croissants (thanks to a wonderful baker called Trader Joes), eggs and bacon. Graham had to rush off to make chord charts and get to church in time to do the music for 3 Christmas Eve services. The rest of the group dispersed and I enjoyed a quiet afternoon unpacking and repacking and vacuuming up peanut shards while the sick girls napped. I managed to attend one of the church services (if you count watching the service on TV from the nursing room where I was stranded with Emma who was naked because had pooped through her entire outfit and Isla who was prairie doggin' it but refusing to complete the task as "attending.") :) All in all, it was a busy yet fun Christmas Eve!

Oh, and it's definitely worth mentioning despite her illness, Emma had a GREAT hair day!

My 2012 Resolutions

2012-01-05T16:01:00.000-08:00

I know a lot of people hate making resolutions because they are cliche or overdone but for me they are very useful. I love the idea of a New Year to start fresh, make changes. I know I'm a little late in establishing my resolutions for this year seeing that we're almost a week in already but, hey, that's just how I've been rolling lately and I'm ok with it.

Truth be told, I've been in a bit of a funk lately. I think it's a combination of the gloomy weather, sleep deprivation and the evaporation of what little alone time I possessed pre-Emma. These things together have created a rather on-edge, anxious version of the Kelsie I'd like to be. As 2012 begins, I'd like to do a better job of remembering that my life is really, really good. I have two beautiful (and challenging!) children, a very supportive and handsome husband, a wonderful family, and a cozy place to live. I've been doing some reflecting and praying over what the Lord is teaching to me, what He wants me to learn this year. I think He has a lot in store!

So, without further adieu, in 2012 would like to.....

1) Read more. I somehow managed to read 3 books in the month of December and it felt so good. And then this week (one week!) I read another book from start to finish (it helped that Emma is nursing every 2-3 hours round the clock again due to milk supply issues). I can't remember the last time I finished a book prior to this. I was gifted a Kindle complete with a reading light for Christmas and I have a feeling it is going to play a huge role in helping me accomplish this goal.

2) Run a 10K. Now that I'm so close, why not keep going, right? The current plan is to run the Mercer Island 10K in late March with a couple of friends.

3) Make peace with my emotions. I am an emotional person. There. I said it. I do a pretty good job of hiding my emotions as a whole but then poor Graham gets stuck with the mother load. This year, I want to learn to be ok with the way I'm feeling and let it out. If I feel like crying, I will cry. If I feel like laughing, I will laugh. If I feel (righteously) angry, I will be angry. I'm a pretty good stuffer and I don't think it's working for me. I have this deep longing to know how people really are and I want them to know the same about me as this is what creates incredible richness in relationship.

4) Read through the entire Bible, cover to cover. I am a bit ashamed to admit that I've never done this before. I've attempted a couple of read-the-Bible-in-a-year plans in years past but usually gave up once I hit Leviticus. Thank you Kindle yet again for your assistance with this one. I purchased a One Year Bible and so far I'm 5 for 5! (I must also give a little shout out to Emma--her frequent night wakings have facilitated lots more opportunities for quiet time!)

5) Travel alone with Graham. I have been either pregnant or breast feeding for a good majority of the last 3 1/2 years and I would love to set aside an extended period away to reconnect with just my husband.

6) Blog more. It is so therapeutic for me to write and I love having the events of my life and the thoughts that pass through my head documented.

7) Foster a servant's heart. You would think I would have rid myself of selfishness after having 2 kids. But far too often it rears its ugly head. The Lord is really nudging me in this area and I hope to learn to serve without expecting anything in return. No more keeping score!

8) Find some good slow cooker meals for work nights. I was crazy after going back to work post-Isla. I cooked a meal from scratch every work night and totally stressed myself out. This year, I'm committing to crockpot meals or leftovers on work nights for sanity's sake!

9) Give up. Give up trying to do things on my own, that is. This is another area where I really need to grow and remember that the Savior of the Universe is just waiting for me to let go and let Him take over. I need to be constantly reminded of this!

10) Be a really stellar mom and super awesome wife. I'm still working on the practical applications of this one but hopefully I can make some improvements this year!

Out of the mouths of babes

2012-01-03T14:05:00.000-08:00

I'm a firm believer in teaching kids the actual names of body parts. I'm sure there will be times when our kids identify things in public where we temporarily regret this decision but as a whole, I think it's the right one. But today I accidentally slipped up. I was nursing Emma while Isla looked on, doing her usual "What's that?" routine. She pointed in the general direction of Emma and asked me her number one favorite question. I thought she was looking at the design on Emma's onesie so cheerfully told her "It's a cupcake!" I finished feeding on one side and was about to switch to the other when Isla pointed at my chest and asked "Mommy feed Emma on the other cupcake?"
It sort of has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? :)

Cabo Part 2

2012-01-02T16:31:00.000-08:00

And so it began...

Poor Isla spent 3 days of her vacation feverish and coughing up a storm. She was quite the sport and tried not to let her illness slow her down (though it did significantly). She took looooong naps (of course she would when it required one of us to stay back in the room during the sunniest part of the day!!) and I've never seen her sit in one place like that before. She still wanted to play in the "cool" but did a lot more standing and staring at the other kids than actual playing. But, the show must go on! So we played as best we could between nursing our sickie. I spent a lot of the trip nursing actually, it all senses of the word! Anyhow, I love this shot of Graham running into the waves with freakishly reckless abandon.

My mom and I successfully managed 2 barefoot beach runs and a bunch of us also walked the beach one morning. The weather was surprisingly coolish (like low to mid 70s as a high) so no one was really ready to get in the water until 11 anyway.

The four Croziers didn't make it too far on the walk but we were out long enough to introduce Isla to footprints. She was much less terrified of the sand this time around but still preferred the pool to the beach.

Gideon and Grandpa

Toward the end of our trip, we attended the dreaded timeshare presentation with our lovely host Jesus. He initially booked separate appointments for all of us married couples but then got in trouble with his management so thankfully (for Michael, Lani, Graham and I!) we were able to go together. We were planning to divy up the kids one per couple anyway to try and keep the meeting short and sweet but man, we must have been their worst nightmare!

It was supposedly only 90 minutes (yeah right!) so when an hour and a half had passed, Graham was getting ancy and my eyes were glazing over. Emma was getting hungry but I didn't want to start nursing her and therefore lock in another 20 minutes of time. This was right when they started sending in the big gun managers. One was a nice Canadian who couldn't stop commenting about how cute the three kids were while happily announcing that his wife was 11 weeks pregnant with their first and that he was a bit nervous. Right on cue, the kids began to give him an eyeful. First, Gideon pooped, sending rancid fumes around the table. The manager gladly encouraged Lani to please go ahead and change him! It was then that Dad noticed it was too late. A dark round turd had made it's way between Gideon's behind and Lani's lap. Dad tried to discreetly let Lani know but of course all eyes were on her and when the manager saw what had happened, he jumped up, gagging and covering his mouth at the sight (I honestly think he nearly lost his lunch). Cheerfully, Lani picked up the turd and exclaimed "Oh! Don't worry! It's only a raisin!" The only thing that could have made it better would have been if she licked it just to be sure.

Lani got Gideon cleaned up just in time for Isla to take center stage. She burst into a tremendous fit of coughing that was so forceful she began puking in her lap. Now, I think it's important to mention that she has never puked in all her 28 months of life. Ever. How ironic that her first time be during a horrid time share sales pitch? Her timing is impeccable! I rushed her to the bathroom, stripped her of her shirt only to have her leave another gift on the floor. I put a bib on her (for modesty of course!) and asked if we could please be excused from the meeting as we were not interested in buying. And wouldn't you know it, they actually LET US GO!! Just like that. No high pressure, no endless "I'll give you a better deal" offers. I think they were quite happy to see us walk out of there actually. Little did they know we could have been good targets since we'd actually fallen for and purchased a time share in the past (ha! a story for another day!) I guess Lani and Michael were freed to go a few minutes later after Michael told them he'd have to start donating some vital male organs to be able to afford a vacation home. Oh but my poor parents. They didn't show up at the pool for three more hours. I thought for sure they'd bought a time share!! Unfortunately they just couldn't get away and kept getting sales pitch after sales pitch thrown their way. I don't think they tried puking in anybody's lap though. Good plan for next time I think!

So anyway, Isla was totally fine after emptying the contents of her stomach so us young-ins returned to the pool to enjoy the rest of the day.

There was always entertainment to be had at the pool. I'm pretty sure the resort entertainer guys probably have the best job on the planet in the minds of some. They literally got to goof off all day and play games with guests (which often involved them drinking on the job) and they got paid for it. Personally, I didn't enjoy their let's-go-see-how-many-people-we-can-get-to-take-shots-of-this-tequila antics. I tried to be conveniently breastfeeding whenever they played this game.

But I did participate in the group water aerobics one day. It sort of happened by accident. Michael, Josh, Silver, Ben and I were in the pool when they started the workout and we were jokingly doing some of the moves from across the pool. We got called out and were told to come closer (and when these entertainer guys called you out, no was not an acceptable answer!)

Lani and I spent a lot of nap time hours on our poolside patios reading. I finished some books for the first time since Emma was born and it felt really good. My parents packed walkie talkies which provided a means of communication to those poolside if we needed to be relieved.

It proved a bit challenging to find places to gather for games as a group. But we did manage to play some card games in the lobby area on a couple occasions (it involved us taking matters into our own hands and moving around some couches to seat our group!) We even had to split up for a lot of our meals because we were told "It it not possible to seat this many people together." It sort of became the joke of our trip and also our catch phrase. "It is not possible....!" It really depended on who the meal hostess was and we lucked out a few times and got them to move some tables together. That gave us ammunition when others told us no. Actually it is possible because we moved tables together yesterday!! :)

Most of our meals were buffet style but weren't really Mexican dishes. They usually had 4 or 5 protein options, 3 starch options and a couple hot vegetables (always zucchini and bell peppers). By the end, I think we all just wanted to have plate served to us with a protein, starch and veg as we never really knew quite what was supposed to go with what and sounded nice to have someone else make the decision for us. They had a couple of restaurants on site (one Mexican and one Italian) that served a la carte meals but they were really hard to get into (and the one night we did get in, they'd changed to the service to a "special" buffet). We were finally successful in making reservations at the Mexican place on the last night and wished we'd made it happen earlier on because we had a good time. One evening they put together a special Caribbean nice (another buffet!) outside. We were all able to sit together around a round table and watch some fire dancers which was fun.

It was really fun for the grand kids to get to spend a week together. Isla LOVES bossing Gideon around and he's a good sport. He can say both Isla and Emma's names and so liked identifying each one over and over. They played lots of little games together....

...including hide and go seek!

HUGE thank you to G&G Wilson for taking us to Mexico!! We loved spending time with you !! And we're sorry we abandoned you in that time share presentation! :)

Cabo Part 1

2011-12-30T15:24:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to us!! As our gift this year, my parents took the entire family to.....

....MEXICO!! We spent the week leading up to Christmas in San Jose del Cabo at an all-inclusive resort. Talk about an incredible gift! We had a fabulous time of course and came back with many stories to tell. One of my favorite parts was that they have this thing called sunshine down there. Here's proof:

It took 4 large, hotel-like rooms to sleep the 12 of us. My parents were able to get 40% off the room rates by agreeing to have the three couples attend a time share presentation (more on that later!) Isla and I were the early risers in our room so liked to hang out on the balcony before breakfast.

Who wouldn't with a view of the pool and ocean like these?

We'd never traveled on an all-inclusive style vacation. I think most of us determined it really isn't our style as what really makes a trip for us is the cross cultural experience. But we had a great time and made lots of fun memories! It certainly was nice to have access to "free" food and drinks at all hours of the day.

The beach outside our resort was supposedly too dangerous for swimming but we went ahead and did it anyway and are alive to tell about it. Notice the crowd of people in white in the photo below. They are the local Mexicans, selling their wares. There is rope surrounding the resort that they are supposed to stay behind but if you so much as make eye contact with them, they'd cross over to show you their stuff, with the resort "security" looking on.

At the last minute, I realized it could be quite challenging to keep Emma shaded on a beach/pool vacation so I ordered this little (errr, bigger than expected) inflatable pool with mushroom sunshade to keep her cushioned and comfy both poolside and at the beach. It was definitely the talk of the pool goers. I almost passed out blowing the thing up and was almost finished when one of the resort workers came up and asked if I might want to use their electric pump. Ummm YES!

The mushroom pool worked great when she was awake...

...and asleep

It proved a bit more challenging than I'd expected to take a beach vacation with two kids who couldn't swim. Graham and I did a lot of baby trading as someone was almost always needing to be held or taken back to the room for a nap. Thank goodness we traveled with family-more hands available to hold! One morning, my parents took all the grandkids so Lani, Michael, Graham and I could go out and play in the waves. I'm scared to death of waves so stayed pretty close to shore but went out far enough to get sloshed full of sand. Emma of course needed to eat when I got back to the pool so I pulled out my nursing cover and latched her on without looking. It wasn't until she was ready to switch sides that I looked down and saw her face was completely covered in sand! She even had a mouthful of sand to go with-her first solids!! Poor girl but all present had a pretty good laugh about it until I realized it was next to impossible to wipe the sand off the other side without a shower and I had a screaming baby in lap....

On our second full day there, we all trekked into town on foot to do a little exploring. We should have known right then and there that something was up with Isla--she fell asleep on the SUPER BUMPY stroller ride at 10 AM (4 hours before her usual nap time). She totally rocked the glasses and hat while she slept though!

Josh's beautiful girlfriend Silver was able to join us and experience Mexico for the first time. I loved having her along and having a chance to get to know her a bit better (she kicked booty on the beach volleyball court!) I wish I could take credit for this picture which is pretty much the cutest ever but I stole it from my mom...

We spent our time in town dinking around some souvenir shops....

...admiring the Christmas decor in the city square (I mean, what doesn't speak Christmas to you about these shiny things?)...

...and peaking into a church.

Emma got to experience the joys of facing outward in the front pack for the first time where she discovered the pack doubled as a built-in chew toy.

We were all craving a true Mexican meal experience since all our other meals would be at the resort so we set off in search of the perfect taco stand. I'm not sure we found the very best one, but we were able to give Silver a taste of local Mexico, flies and all (it was her first time south of the border!) It was here that Isla discovered they do time outs in Mexico too! She put on an epic performance that lasted the entirety of the meal, with Graham and I taking turns standing outside the restaurant with her until she was ready to apologize to Uncle Mikey. Man is that girl ever STUBBORN! We stood our ground though and weren't about to let her win. Finally, after buckets of tears, she gave in and obeyed and there was uproarious applause as she rejoined us at the table just as everyone else finished their meal.

Want to hear more trip tales? Well, you're in luck because this is to be continued...

Isla 28 Months

2011-12-28T11:43:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty positive Isla is 100% Type A (i.e. she got my personality!!) She is very independent and wants to do everything "by self." If we attempt to help her, she'll go back and start over and do it again, making sure we keep our hands off (Mom and Dad, sound familiar?) When we put her in timeout, she even tries to change the location and sit in front of a different wall (so she can be in control...nice try Isla!)

Despite her strong will, she is quite the tender soul and is quick to burst into tears if (ok when) we raise our voices. I love her little heart!

The things she says always crack me up. She's been singing "Baa baa black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, 3 bags full. One for my master, one for the game, one for the little boy who lives in the parking spot...." She often asks for a back or leg "scrub" (rub)--girl after my own heart! Then tonight she asked me to shake her out over the sink to get the dinner crumbs out of her lap. She also thinks the word "still" all by itself means something. I'll ask her if she's still eating and instead of saying "Yes" she says "Still."

Graham's aunt and uncle have a dog named Cooper. For whatever reason, she can't pronounce it right and calls him "Pooper." But then ask her to say "pool" and she pronounces it "cool." Go figure! She's finally figured out how to pronounce her own name "I-lah" instead of "I-yah."

Last night as I was trying to change her diaper before bed (yes still in diapers--no progress there!), she was kicking her legs and trying to roll around. I asked her to obey and told her Jesus wants her to obey and that it makes Him sad when she doesn't. Immediately she asked "Where's Jesus?" (a frequent topic of conversation in our house) and then proudly answered her own question: "In our hearts!". *love*

Isla loves to sit in the tub and take a bath while I take a shower. She usually asks to join me every day but I try to keep it to every other day or so.

She is really enjoying crafts and artsy projects lately whether it be playing with play dough (where she requests rather elaborate creations), coloring or the latest, painting. She got a little craft box for Christmas and is already begging to break into it.

Isla loves to "play dishes toys," stack blocks and build with Duplos. Her blocks have letters on them and she is beginning to be able to identify "E for Emma and I for Isla." She also loves the special toys she gets to play with at each of her grandparents.

Isla is obsessed with stickers. She loves to cover her Ducky or her legs and clothing with them. Oh and you should have seen our row of seats on the airplane on the way home from Cabo! :)

She's definitely starting to get into imaginative play. She's always played with her babies but now she's really starting to pretend. We overheard her telling her baby the other day that she "needed to make sure she was comfy and cozy." She really must listen to what I say to Emma! She also likes to pick up books and make up a story that she reads out loud.

Isla has started to nap better again! I've found that if I can keep her awake until closer to 2 PM, she usually will sleep for a couple hours. This discovery has been wonderful.

She continues to love all things bread. She asks for it at almost every meal. Tonight we had short ribs and rice and kale and the first thing she said when she looked at her plate was "Where's the bread?" Oh the joys!

Advent Activities

2011-12-27T22:27:00.000-08:00

Christmas has officially come and gone, a whirlwind of a weekend! We've attended our last party and reality is setting in as we try to get back to "real life." We took the tree down this afternoon (so bittersweet but it was on it's last legs, shedding needles if you did as much as glance at it and honestly, we really needed the space back). We are now are in the middle of a major reorganizing and rearranging ordeal in attempts to make space for new Christmas treasures and create a change of scenery (I've been feeling the need for decor change and to get rid of stuff--here goes round 3 of purging since Emma was born!) Out with the old, in with the new I guess. Really, we didn't need anything (except for maybe the chocolate which I've already almost completely consumed) but it is fun to have a few new items that we would never ordinarily purchase for ourselves.

Anyway, as I'm sure is the case for most people, I feel like this Christmas season came and went much faster than I would have liked and I want to jot down some of my favorite happenings from the past month so I can look back and remember.

It was really fun having a nearly 2 1/2 year old during Christmas time. Isla was brought so much joy to every activity! I loved driving around after dark with her in the back seat pointing out all the Christmas lights. "Look at those lights, Mommy!!"

Graham took her Christmas shopping at the mall once and forgot the stroller so the two of them walked all the way around Bellevue Square and apparently she just loved it. She got to help pick out some earrings for her Grandma Crozier. Graham sent me a picture of her in front of a Christmas tree in her fuzzy white lamb coat, crazy curls flying everywhere, shopping bag in hand, smiling so wide her eyes were completely closed. She looked like a little snow bunny and the picture just oozes sweetness.

We got Isla a small baby doll and her reaction when she opened it was just priceless. "A new baby for me, Mommy!" It didn't leave her sight all day and has since replaced her beloved Ducky as her bedtime companion. Wow, that says a lot.

Then there was the time Graham tried to "help" me with the Christmas cookies. He would have cut out all angel sugar cookies if I hadn't walked in and urged him to add some variety! Then there was the frosting disaster. He didn't scrape the sides of the bowl (because the recipe didn't say to) so there were large clumps of powdered sugar throughout. Then he thought it looked better if he didn't blend the food coloring in all the way and frosted them all uneven for a "textured" look. The end product looked like there were curdled chunks of spit up on all the cookies but he told me he thought they looked like a Van Gogh painting. :) I needed the cookies for a MOPS event and so smoothed the frosting as best I could and dumped on a ton of sprinkles to try and hide the chunks. We had a good laugh over it!

I know this is going to sound funny but my favorite gift from Graham this year was a giant bag of Sour Patch Kids. I used to always buy sour gummies and sneak them into movies when I was a teenager. Graham knew this about me and so bought me a big bag for an "at home" date night. I think it really spoke to me because a) he remembered that in my mind, movies and Sour Patch Kids go together and b) he doesn't really like them so this was something he got purely to indulge me.

It didn't happen often enough but I LOVED sitting in front of the Christmas tree, drinking coffee out of my Christmas mug while doing my Advent reading.

Mexico and the time spent with my family was cherished--only wished it could have been longer (more on the trip later!)

We spent a lot of time explaining the Christmas story to Isla. It was heart warming to see her begin to understand and retain what we told her. Graham really tried to simplify it for her. I'm not sure exactly what he told her but at one point we asked her where Jesus was born. Her answer: "a bucket!!"

We attended our church's Christmas concert in early December. Isla was too old for the childcare provided so she got to go into the service for the first time. I thought it'd be fun, especially since Graham was performing. The congregation sang a few carols all together and Isla had a great time dancing and clapping as we sang. When we sang Angels We Have Heard on High, she started singing right along!! I had no idea she knew it!

Of course a couple days later, we had background Christmas music on while we were eating dinner. All of a sudden Isla exclaimed "It's Mommy's song!" We listened closer and realized Angels We Have Heard on High was playing. Confused, we asked her what she meant. Her response: "Man singing about Mommy's Day! In ex Kelsie's Day--oh!" Too cute.

I'm sure there were many more memorable moments but it's getting late so this will have to do!

St Nicholas Day 2011

2011-12-27T21:08:00.000-08:00

Did St Nicholas visit you this year?

Funny that I should finally get around to finishing this post the day we take down our tree....St Nick left some special goodies in our shoes this year, as is tradition in our family. Of course there was the token orange in the toe which Isla was pretty excited about.

Emma needs bigger shoes, that's the moral of the story! One of her new ornaments almost fit. This cute bunny is a Brushkin from the Philippines, made from the fiber of the Buri palm tree.

Isla's Brushkin was this adorable little pig.

I got a fox and Graham a mouse.

Graham and I also helped St Nick pick out a couple ornaments for the girls and for each other. Isla has been loving Russian dolls so ours was a hit!

Emma got one too!

I got Graham this globe because he used to be really obsessed with old maps. He got me a framed old map of Hawaii while we were dating and this ornament reminded me of it. It's also very fitting, well, I want to travel the world with him!

And last but not least, I now have a pickle on my tree! I have accumulated quite the collection of foodie ornaments over the years and I love to have them on the side of the tree facing the kitchen so I can look at them while I cook.

St Nick has been good to us over the years, so good that we are gonna need a bigger tree!!

Emma: 14 and 15 Weeks

2011-12-15T14:16:00.000-08:00

14 Weeks (12/6/11)

I feel like Emma has transitioned from little baby sleeping away in her seat to little person who is completely 100% interactive. She's begun to turn her head toward familiar voices and really likes to be a part of the party (i.e. wants to be in the same room and at face level with all the action). Some friends loaned us their play mat and I was shocked to see Emma reach out and grab the toys hanging above her. Man, time flies with baby number two! I feel like she shouldn't know how to do that yet but I suppose she is 3 1/2 months already.

In addition to grabbing toys, she also has discovered her fingers. Sometimes she'll just watch them move around but most of the time she likes to suck on them. We're trying to give her the binky in trade (since you can throw away pacifiers but you can't throw away the hand!) but she usually just grabs the binky from her mouth. Sometimes if we're lucky, she'll put it back in and chew on it.

Emma is totally sporting an ever-growing bald spot in the back. :( I'm pretty sure she'll end up with a mohawk and a mullet before long. I'm really going to miss her hair! It's the talk of the town. Seriously. I walk through the grocery store and hear people whispering "Look at that baby's hair!" all the time. I'll be so sad when I stop hearing that. It's her trademark!

Two nights ago, Emma slept from 10:15 PM to 8:30 AM and I'm pretty sure she only woke because Isla was crying!!! Needless to say, we seem to have already fallen into a pretty nice sleep routine already (praise the Lord!) I'd like to take credit for it but I doubt I deserve all of it. Either I knew better this time what sort of routine to work toward or we have a fairly easy baby. I'd like to say it's a combo of both. Emma usually is asleep in the evening between 8 and 9 PM and wakes in the early AM for one feed (somewhere between 3 and 6 usually). Then she sleeps until 8 or 8:30 and goes down again ~9:30 or 10 AM (usually when I'm running). Her morning nap is usually only 45 minutes or 1 hour but then she often has one longer nap (sometimes 3 hours if I'm lucky!) in the afternoon. She usually wakes a couple of times for a binky or a quick snuggle so it's not consecutive but I'll take it! She often wakes up before she's truly rested and then is fussy and falls back asleep in my arms. I have been successful at getting her to fall asleep on her own once swaddled. She usually takes a half hour cat nap around dinner time and then the cycle repeats.

I think I am finally ready to put Emma in the nursery at church in the New Year. I'd been holding off because I didn't want her to get sick before our vacation (she had her 2nd cold last week). And because I'm a little more protective of her after our little scare. We're reached the point where I have to step out so much that I miss a good majority of the service so I think it's time. It'll be good for her. And me.

We had her 2 month appointment at 3 months of age (for scheduling reasons) and she weighed 12 pounds, 12 1/2 ounces (a drop to 75%ile so she is now on the charts) and she was 23 1/2 inches long (50-75%ile). Her doctor wasn't necessarily worried but cautioned that she didn't want her dropping any further and so encouraged me to make sure my milk supply is ok by pumping daily. Given that she's wearing 6 month clothes already, I'm not too worried but I have increased my pumping. :)

15 Weeks (12/13/11)

I just love to put Emma in front of the mirror. She almost instantly starts smiling and laughing at her reflection--it's great entertainment for all.

She continues to be a challenging bottle feeder. We're using the Tommee Tippee but she doesn't love it, probably partially due to the fact that we aren't doing it enough! Guess we need to go on more dates (I hate "wasting" pumped milk when I'm home!)

Some other little facts we've learned about Emma:
-She loves to be swaddled. TIGHTLY. If the others in the room aren't gasping in shock, you probably aren't doing it tight enough.
-She likes to be held horizontally and have her butt patted. Sometimes she's fights the position when she's really tired but if you snuggle her tightly, it's a losing battle and she gives in. She does not like to be held vertically over the shoulder.
-If she starts screaming bloody murder (which she surprisingly does do), she is likely overtired and not hungry.
-She takes upwards of ~6-7 ounces per feeding when eating from a bottle (for the record, Isla NEVER took that much in the entire year she received bottles!)
-I'll close with this one: pink is her color!! Graham and I have both noticed that her looks have changed over the past couple weeks. We feel like she's cranked up the cuteness factor and her adorableness increases exponentially when she's wearing pink.

Jingle Bell 5K

2011-12-14T16:34:00.000-08:00

We made a very quick trip up to Bellingham last Friday to Saturday for the Jingle Bell Run. Both my mom and sister had been following the couch to 5K plan so we thought it would be fun to do the race together. And believe it or not, we all finished! I crossed the finish line at 27 minutes and 42 seconds which I was pretty excited about for my first race ever.

My ever-so-loving husband braved the cold (and the early hour!) with the girls to watch me cross the finish line (I'm on the far left). The race was super fun with lots of people dressed up in costumes and we all had bells on our shoes.

We thought it'd be fun to run the race together but found our paces were too different so we all finished separately. Here comes Mom! I think she finished in 34 minutes.

Poor Lani caught a horrible cold (including bruised ribs!) and was sick for a month so wasn't able to run much. She was hard core and decide to do the race anyway, even though she'd never run the 3.1 mile distance before. When we saw her rounding the final corner, we joined her for a sprint to the finish. Can you tell she's happy to still be breathing? :)

The freezing fans

Awkward picture--looks like Lani's trying to make a little announcement for me...

Even more awkward picture...Graham made us do it! It got three times more awkward when the neighbors drove up mid-pose.

So, I gotta admit, running the race was really fun. And possibly addicting. I definitely felt a little competitiveness kick in when I saw the clock at the finish line. I think a 10K is on the horizon!

Last weeks of "freedom"

2011-12-11T21:38:00.000-08:00

I'm doing my very best to savor these last couple weeks of 2011. January is going to bring some big adjustments in our household as Graham's leave of absence from his masters program will come to a close. Somehow I think we both managed to forget that school would be back on our radar and we've grown quite comfortable with our "free time." Ha!

I am ever so very grateful for the blessing that this leave has been for us. At first we were both kind of disappointed when it was forced upon him after changing to the nurse practitioner track. But as much as I would love for him to be graduating this coming June instead of in 2013, I don't think I would have survived the last 3 months had he been in school. Thank you Jesus for giving him this break to keep me sane! It has been WONDERFUL to have him truly OFF a couple days a week, both off from work and off from school. Like actually free and available. And home. He's been home so much more in the evenings that we've been averaging ~3 family dinners a week which is a personal best for us (he gets home after Isla is in bed or at least after she is supposed to be in bed on work nights). We've been able to join an eastside community group through our church and there have even been some opportunities where I've even been able to enjoy a girls night out.

We were talking last night about how he's been in school for Isla's entire life and how neither of us are ready for him to dive back in. When questions arise that make us wonder if it will all be worth it in the end, we try and remind ourselves how clearly God opened the door and led Graham in this direction, into this particular program. And how He's provided for us every step of the way.

Thankfully, we just have to get through winter quarter and then he'll have another break until the final and really, really hard and time-intensive year begins in the summer. So if anyone finds themselves with free hands and a desire to watch two adorable girls over the next 3 months, I would WELCOME a break as any currently existing time to myself is about evaporate completely! :)

HALLELUJAH that my baby sleeps through the night!! The verse about the Lord giving us only what we can handle couldn't be more true--and He knew this Mama needs her sleep to survive!!

Couch to 5K

2011-12-08T23:35:00.000-08:00

People always told me it was a lot harder to lose the weight after baby #2 but I just figured those people weren't exercising. Well, they were right. It is much harder. I am now three months out and have about 5 more pounds (on a good day!) to go before I hit my pre-pregnancy weight. Ladies, please don't pounce. I am well aware that this is quite good all things considered in the grand scheme of things. But let me assure you it has taken a LOT of time, dedication and determination.

The first 23 pounds came off with no effort but then the scale stopped dropping (BOOO!!) I have had to work SO HARD to get the next 10 pounds off (read: 10 weeks of running every other day pushing what I calculated to be 80 pounds of stroller, carseat and children). Having a beach vacation to Mexico on the books has been a great motivator! But I DID IT! I'm officially trained for my very first 5K race on Saturday which I'll be running in Bellingham with my mom!

In addition to running with my mom, I've also started running with a good friend (running with others is something I've always been so scared to do). Why I waited so long to run with anybody I don't know. It is so much more fun to have company along!! Not to mention I go a lot further. The other day I was running with my friend and we accidentally ran 5 miles. We were having such a good time talking that neither of us realized how far we'd gone. Who does that!? She's convinced me to train for a 10K now that I'm so close anyway.

I never thought I'd be a runner but, to my surprise, this time around I actually found myself enjoying the couch to 5K (I guess I said that at one point last time too). But it seems much easier than when I did it post-Isla. Maybe I was somehow in better cardiovascular shape after carrying around a 9 1/2 pound baby????? Or maybe it's just that I have more mental confidence that I actually can do it. I gotta say it also helps a lot that Graham tells me he thinks it hot that I run. He's been very supportive of me and watches the girls on occasion so I can run alone (but then I'm at a total loss because I have no stroller in which to store the keys, my phone, water etc-where am I supposed to put those things?). :)

Here's to hoping I make it across the finish line on Saturday! Oh yeah. And that those stubborn last 5 melt away. Eventually.

Christmas Crafting

2011-12-08T15:29:00.000-08:00

Somehow I managed to pull off a little sewing project over the past couple weeks. I convinced myself it was okay if Emma didn't have a stocking this year but then I started feeling crafty and decided I'd see if I could whip one up in time. I finished it this week and now our fireplace looks complete! As it turns out, it's my favorite one yet, probably because I chose fabrics that are what has been deemed "Kelsie Green" by the Crozier clan. Someday we'll find little silver pins shaped like the first letter of each of our names to label them. Merry Christmas Emma! I'm pretty sure you'll find your stocking stuffed to the brim with diapers come Christmas morn.

Isla 27 Months (a couple weeks late...)

2011-12-05T20:22:00.000-08:00

Lots is new with Isla this month but I'm having a hard time keeping up. Here are some highlights. She:

-is obsessed with places: Where’s Lani’s? Where’s Bellevue? Where’s south? She continues to recognize where we are when we are driving. The other day we got on the freeway and she blurts out excitedly “This is the way to church Mommy!”

-really seems to enjoy running with me (though she's doing more riding than running). I think because I have been doing it so much lately, she’s starting to catch on. She’s started running around the living room telling me “I’m running for exercise!” I try to encourage it, because, well, it seems like a good habit to get in to. On Thanksgiving day, she was pushing around a toy shopping cart and when my cousin asked her what she was doing, she responded “I’m shopping for exercise!” Let me just set the record straight: she did NOT get that from me. I despise shopping. But she seems to love it and often asks to go to the mall or Trader Joes (where they have “shopper in training carts”).

-wants to read books over and over again.

-has an opinion about most everything and is really exerting her independence.

-continues to be obsessed with noodles and bread. Also loves raisin bran, “crunchies” (granola) and oranges. She'll eat spicy food no problemo as long as she has a cup of milk to go with.

-is a big help with her little sister. She LOVES throwing away her poopy diapers and sometimes gets upset when she realizes we've already put the diaper in the pail.

-likes to dress herself and often wants to wear something other than what we pick out for her. Now I understand why some kids out in public are dressed so strangely. And I shall no longer pass judgment on their parents.

-is really fun to have conversations with. She’s hilarious and says the funniest things. She’s a great student and I love seeing her grasp new concepts everyday. She answers questions with "yeah" or "yes" or says "uh-huh" as you talk, as if she already knows everything you are telling her. She also has started saying "Yes sir!" to me when I ask her to do stuff. Not sure where that came from.

-loves Christmas lights and our Christmas tree. A LOT! I look forward to driving at night with her in the car so I can point out the lights. In fact, last night I forgot she wasn't with me and I started getting a little over-excited about the lights I was passing. Oh the joys!

The hunt for the perfect tree

2011-12-04T09:46:00.000-08:00

This year the hunt was short and sweet. We've learned our lesson from years past. When we first got married, cutting down our own tree sounded romantic and wonderful...until we saw the price tags on the trees. $80? Sorry, that didn't fit in our budget. So after trekking around the entire eastside and stopping at multiple farms to see the cost was no better, we ended up at the Safeway right behind our house where Graham walked a tree home. Seriously. He lugged it by hand down the street. It was quite the sight and I'm sure people thought he was stealing it. Anyhow, last year we discoved great trees at McLendon's Hardware in Woodinville. Not nearly as romantic as cutting one ourselves, yes, but perfect in every other way. So that's where we returned again this year.

We rushed down after church last Sunday to snag one before naps. We literally took the first one we touched and spent a grand total of about 5 minutes "hunting." And the beauty of it was Emma didn't even have to get out of her carseat.

Our little dolly girl

We felt super official this year strapping that tree to the top of our mini van. I'm pretty sure Graham said something like "Babe! We're for real now! We have a luggage rack to tie it to!" (In the past, we looped twine multiple times through the doors of our Jetta to secure it to the top of the car...)

The Crozier family: we don't mess!

After naps, Isla and Graham had a great time trimming the tree while I made dinner.

The half-finished product! Looking at this reminds me I need to make a tree skirt...

Beauty #2

Who says we need a baby activity center? The tree has everything a baby could want and more!

Now my favorite thing to do is to drink coffee out of my Christmas mugs in front of the lit tree...

Random wordage

2011-12-02T20:11:00.000-08:00

I so long for a moment to be creative. To write something other than little tidbits about my children. But alas, life presently beckons me elsewhere and all I seem to be able to manage are admittedly monotonous posts about the development of my children. Sorry readers, if you are losing interest.

I hear a stirring upstairs but I'm determined to get out a few words, though I haven't yet determined a topic for this post. It's been a LOOOOONG day and I think I am just totally savoring this moment to myself, even if it lasts only a brief 5 minutes. I need to try to make a habit of this. And by this I mean getting dinner served and cleaned up and the kids in bed earlier. Our evenings have been rather chaotic when I fly solo on Graham's work nights. He used to come home to hot dinner on the table, dinner prep dishes already cleaned and put away, a picked up house. Now he often walks in (over a trash bag) to a mountain of dishes in the kitchen, toys everywhere, a still-dressed and awake two-year-old running around the living room while I sit helplessly nursing the baby. I kid you not, one night he walked in to all of the above scene, plus me walking around with nursing pillow strapped around my waist and no pants. I can't quite recall why I wasn't wearing pants but I'm pretty sure it had to do with someone pooping on them. Anyhow, no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get dinner started early enough to get the kids to bed on time to have this quiet moment that is oh so necessary for my sanity. Of course, Graham does NOT expect a neat and tidy house. He's usually pretty happy just to see that the kids and I are alive. But I like to bless him with food and a peaceful environment it at all possible.

So, all this to say is that we're learning I suppose. And maybe making a little progress? I hope. We're heading into a super busy month but I'm filled with new excitement and anticipation as I get to see things from a new perspective, through the eyes of a two-year-old. What fun!

And with that, the stirring upstairs has migrated into my arms and so that'll have to do it. Happy December!

Emma: 12 and 13 Weeks

2011-12-02T04:51:00.000-08:00

12 Weeks (11/22/11)

Definitely the highlight of the past couple days is that Emma has started to full on giggle. She's been doing some mild laughing for a couple weeks now but now I can say she laughs for real. The best part about it was that it happened when I was doing my devotions. I decided to read to her aloud and she just thought it was so hilarious and started laughing out of no where. Oh my goodness I just love it!

In addition to laughing, she's really found her voice this week. She squeals and sometimes shrieks just for fun--it is quite entertaining. Her sounds can escalate rather quickly from happy coos to high pierced screaming and it is sometimes hard to tell whether she is just "talking" or upset. But when she gets full on upset, man is she upset!! The girl may be generally laid back but she sure has an opinion about some things!

Emma has become a little fist sucker! She finds that hand of hers and can entertain herself for quite some time just sucking away. She also seems to enjoy sucking on my arm if it is anywhere in the vicinity. As a result of all this mouth action, we're going through a lot more onesies these days from all the drool.

The little missy slept through the night 11/17 (10 to 5 AM) and then again 11/23 (10 to 5:30). And then this past week she made it until 5 AM almost every night I think. I am a happy woman!

13 weeks (11/30/11)

Emma really hates dirty diapers as I'm sure anyone would who has poo like hers. She lets me know right away if she needs to be changed. I don't recall Isla being like that at all (maybe the reason she has such minimal interest in potty training?)

I realized that the wee one is not so laid back when she doesn't get a chance to nap all day (duh!) I crammed too much into my schedule on Monday and as a result, she never got more than 15 or 20 minutes of sleep at a time. She was still as rowdy as ever come 9 PM but then LOST it and we saw a new side of her for the next couple hours. Never again I say! Poor girl. Total mommy fail.

I am blessed

2011-11-25T17:18:00.000-08:00

We dedicated Emma at church last Sunday. We didn't necessarily plan it this way but it was quite fitting that the event took place during Thanksgiving week. It really set the mood of the week for me as I reflected on all I have to be thankful for. We are just so blessed. I felt a new surge of emotions as thanked God for our baby girl who is alive and thriving. Now that almost 3 months have passed since she arrived, the memory of her hospital stay is fading and no longer part of my day to day thought process. Sometimes I wish it crossed my mind more often. When it does, I slow down. I hug my girls a little tighter. I stop working and get on the floor and play, or grab the baby and just snuggle.

I am a blessed woman.

As Graham shared the meaning behind Emma's name during the dedication, we both were holding back tears. At first "Emma" was just something we scribbled on the white board of our hospital room, just so the poor child would have a name. But is wasn't until she was re-hospitalized that we realized what a perfect fit it was for her. Emma means "complete; all containing; whole." Paired with her middle name "Grace," it was a good reminder to us that God's grace is sufficient even in the valleys. We both separately decided, during that hospital stay, that we wanted to dedicate Emma as soon as possible. We wanted to offer her up to the Lord and commit our lives to raising her to know Him since He so generously blessed us with her.

Emma wore a handmade dress, crocheted by her great-great Grandmother and worn by many before her (including my dad, myself, my sister and Isla). Many family members and friends joined us to show their support and we once again felt overwhelmed by the love that surrounds this little girl. Thank you!

Just for fun, I thought I'd post a picture of the two girls in the dress. Are they even related?? :)

Emma (almost 12 weeks) and Isla (7 1/2 months)

Emma: 11 Weeks

2011-11-14T19:53:00.001-08:00

We have been feeling so especially blessed by this little girl this week! Over the past month, she has transitioned from needing to be held all the time to being a totally laid back, easy going baby and a super awesome sleeper. I keep telling people that my prayer was answered and I really couldn't ask for a better baby.

Emma is so interactive these days and I just love it! She smiles and "talks" all the time when you make eye contact with her and even started to laugh this week. She loves it when Graham says "Smile!" in his baby talk voice that I used to find oh so annoying, until of course I witnessed her reaction to it. She grins a lot for me but seems to have a special spot for her Daddy.

This baby girl SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT last Thursday which totally blew my mind. I think she fell asleep around 9:30 PM, I put her in bed at 10 and then didn't hear a peep until 5 AM. SO AMAZING! Of course she hasn't done it since but still... Oh and the room sharing is going great so far for the girls.

Ummmm, could someone please come over here feed me some grapes??

Emma is pretty good at falling asleep on her own. When she's ready to sleep, all she really needs is a good swaddling and she's out. She seems to like to nap propped up on a pillow or upright in the car seat the best although she did fall asleep on her own in the crib a couple times this week as well.

I should give an update on her bottle feeding. We started using the Tommee Tippee bottle about 3 weeks ago and she feeds SO much better. She still dribbles quite a bit but it no longer sounds like it's going down the wrong pipe-a very good thing!

She had her 2 month immunizations this week but no appointment because we missed the one I had scheduled while we were in Utah and they can't fit her in again until next month. She screamed ever so briefly with the shots and then was fine. She's such a trooper! She didn't poop for 2 days after which makes me wonder if the roto virus vaccine had anything to do with it? It's the first time she's done that so it caught me off guard.

Buddies, Babies and the Butes

2011-11-09T19:42:00.000-08:00

Last week the girls and I were able to tag along on Graham's "business trip" (i.e. nursing conference) to Salt Lake City. Honestly though, our friends the Butes were the main reason we made the trip down there. They welcomed their first baby, sweet Lucy girl just 10 days after Emma was born. We were so excited to meet her and introduce her to our girls. I guess now we can officially say that it is Crozier tradition for our babies' first flights to be to Utah. Deja vu anyone?

Graham and Glendon were placed together as roommates their freshman year of college and have been good friends ever since. They have done a great job of keeping in touch through the years and call each other often. It was really fun to see them both together as Dads now.

Our time in Odgen was pretty laid back. The fall colors were gorgeous as were the houses in Glendon and Kaytee's neighborhood. We went on a couple of walks and introduced Isla to the joys of playing in DRY leaves (we don't really have those here in the NW)....

I must say, these 2 were pretty adorable together. Emma Grace meet Lucy Mae.

They actually really did seem to notice each other and had little coo fests together.

This gorgeous park is a block from the Bute's house!

After two nights in Ogden, we headed back into Salt Lake for the weekend (and Graham's conference). The girls and I spent a lot of time playing in our hotel room and walking the streets while Graham was in his sessions.

We didn't want to cram two cribs in our room so I made the drawer into a nice resting place for Emma. It worked great as long as Isla wasn't nearby to try and push it closed. :)

We figured out how to convert the single BOB into a double-perfect!

Two curly

On Saturday morning, we woke up to SNOW!!

Since it was Emma's first snow, I had to take her out in it. She didn't seem to care too much nor did Isla.

But her bright raincoat made for some nice pictures.

Thank you to our wonderful hosts, Glendon, Kaytee and Lucy!! Hopefully you will be a little closer to us by the time the next child arrives, but if not, I guess we'll make a third trip to Utah!! :)

When life gives you apples...

2011-11-08T22:22:00.000-08:00

.....make APPLESAUCE!!!!

Someone woke up in quite the state after naptime today. There was lots of crying for no apparent reason that only ceased when I suggested we make applesauce. Whatever it takes.... :)

Emma: 9 and 10 Weeks

2011-11-08T15:32:00.000-08:00

(10 Weeks)

We were out of town last week so I'm just going to combine weeks 9 and 10. I mean, let's be honest, I'm not sure how well I'll be able to keep up my online baby book with baby #2! I really cannot believe Emma's already 2 months old. Everyone always says that but I really mean it. Time is flying!

-This little girl is so precious! She has started to make little gurgle sounds in the back of her throat when she's happy. She loves it when you do it back to her.

-For some reason during week 9, Emma had a backwards landslide with her nighttime sleep. She started waking 2-3 times a night and stopped doing long stretches. But I'm happy to report she went 7 hours between feedings last night!
-She got to dress up for Halloween:

Twice!!

-Emma went on her very first flight last week. She did great! We flew to Utah for Graham's nursing conference and to visit friends. Funny thing is, Isla's first flight was also to Utah to visit these same friends.

-Emma's first snow happened while we were in Utah (this is also where Isla saw her first snow).
-We moved Emma into her room with Isla last night. She's outgrown her cradle and since we spent most of the week all together in a hotel room, I figured now was as good a time as any. She did great! I'm hoping I will actually feed her less as sometimes I think I feed her simply because she's stirring, not because she's actually hungry.
-SAD NEWS: I think Emma is starting to lose her hair. I noticed a little bald spot forming on the back of her head yesterday. I am so sad. Her hair makes me giggle and I just don't want it to go away!

-Emma has a nickname now, thanks mostly to her big sister. Back when I was pregnant, Isla started asking us "Where's Emme?" We had no clue who Emme was and had no answer for her. As we were trying to pick a name for baby #2, Emme was a front runner, thanks to Isla. In the end, we opted for Emma with the thought Emme could be a nickname. Graham "tried it out" a few times but I had a hard time switching cold turkey and calling her anything other than Emma. But all of a sudden in over the past couple days, Isla just started calling her Emme and that's all she calls her now. It's pretty cute.

-We have a pretty good eat, "play," sleep cycle going although more so the first two than the latter during the day time. Emma's happiest times are after she eats--she is usually all smiles.
-I need to work on lengthening (ok maybe just establishing) nap times. I really don't want another cat napper and so I need to pay more attention to Emma's cues. Being a 2nd born, she sort of just has to go with the flow and so we haven't often been home for me to get her to sleep in her crib. That's my goal for the next couple months!

Carving pumpkins!

2011-10-30T13:53:00.001-07:00

Emma: 8 Weeks

2011-10-25T13:28:00.000-07:00

-Our poor baby caught the crud this week, just like the rest of us. She made it about 4 days without getting sick so I thought we were in the clear but then she started sneezing and coughing and now you can hear and feel the crackles in her lungs. She's quite the trooper though and isn't letting it get to her. I was SUPER nervous at first because I was afraid we'd end up back in the hospital but she's breathing and eating fine and doesn't seem too bothered. We had considered moving her to the kids' room this week until she got sick. Now I'm keeping her in our room so I can watch her like a hawk.

-I feel like we have a pretty good eat, play, sleep routine going on and she's getting pretty good at napping as long as I catch her earlier enough and get her swaddled.
-Emma LOVES her kitchen sink baths. They always make her happy and full of coos.

-Everyone always thinks she's a boy because of her hair. I guess it looks like a boy's haircut. Sorry people! I didn't have much control over the style she arrive with! :)

-We have a lot of nicknames in mind for our little lady but aren't quite sure how to start using them. Weird, I know but it feels funny to call her anything other than Emma at present. I just LOVE the nickname "Em" though. Let's be honest, I really hope she has a boyfriend someday who calls her that.

Isla: 26 Months

2011-10-25T12:26:00.000-07:00

There is no longer much silence in our home. My eldest LOVES to talk and talk and talk. Her favorite phrase this month is "Wuz dat, Mommy?" She says it all the time and is usually pointing at various objects, a lot of times the same one over and over. Other times I think she says it and then randomly finds something to point at just to fill the silence. Often I enjoy my conversation companion but I must confess there are moments where the repeated question gets on my nerves. I've learned that if I throw it right back at her and ask "Isla, what's that?" then she will answer and move on.

I do really love that Isla can now communicate everything that she wants or is thinking. She has told me a number of times in the past couple weeks that she wants to talk. So we sit and talk, usually about the park.

Isla is HILARIOUS! At least we think so. She comes up with the most random little dialogues. I've started jotting them down (my Facebook friends probably get an overload) because they just crack me up! This week we were riding in the car and out of no where she says "My hair's CRAZY!" True. Very true. She also told me that "Daddy lives on a school bus." I don't know where it comes from but she is quite creative.

Isla is now calling people by name. For example "Wuz dat Mommy?" Or "Look at those trees over there Grandpa?"

I love the way that Isla talks because it totally isn't what you'd expect to come out of the mouth of a 2 year old. It's humbling sometimes because I realize that she gets it from someone - do I really talk like this? She's started adding words like "maybe" or "someday" and "or something" to the end of her sentences. She says things like "Want to play toys maybe?" Or "Daddy will come out of the library someday. Maybe Tuesday?" and "Want to go to the park or something?" Her phrases make me laugh all the time!

Isla used to always beg "Mommy play ah Isla?" (I think the "ah" was her version of "with") but then Graham spent an afternoon trying to teach Isla to stop referring to herself in third person. She didn't seem to be picking up on it but then all of a sudden last week the switch flipped. She still sometimes calls herself "Isla" but more often than not is now saying "me" and "my." Success!!

One of Isla's favorite activities at present is pushing anything and everything around in the doll stroller we got for her birthday. That stroller must have a million miles on it by now she just loves pushing it so much! And let's be honest, that is also currently the reason she goes to church because she knows they have strollers she can push.

She loves to play with her fake food/kitchen stuff and "cook" and pour coffee or tea with her dishes. Somehow one of my cupboards became the oven so I'll often find a toy pot in there "baking."

We have definitely reached an age where playdates are super fun. Isla is very intrigued by older kids and often chases them around purely out of curiosity, watching their every move. It creeps a lot of kids out actually because she doesn't have any sort of a personal bubble. She LOVES playing with her cousin Gideon. They scream and shriek and chases each other around everywhere.

We've hit a small bout of separation anxiety ever since Emma arrived. Isla cries every time she knows we are going to leave her which is usually as we are walking toward her class at church. I'm told she does fine as soon as we leave but cries quite a bit while we are still in ear shot.

I think Isla has realized that Emma isn't leaving so we are seeing a few changes in her behavior. Usually she is all over her sister, talking to her, trying to get her to "drink" a cup of pretend coffee etc but there are also moments where she tries to pat (read: hit) her belly a little too hard and does so while looking at us to prove a point. All in all though, I'd still say she's adjusting well.

I am always blown away by her little memory. It is amazing how much she can put together like for instance if I tell her we are going to MOPS, she can list her friends who will be there. She is recognizing roads we drive on regularly and can accurately tell me when we're "almost home." She knows who belongs with whom and will often asks where a person is if we are with friends and someone is missing.

I love this next picture. Isla always want to be in on the action, to be where the party's at. Here she pulled up a chair all by herself to help Grandma Wilson cut Auntie Lani's birthday cake.

Isla has started to pray by herself this month. Sometimes we catch her praying with Ducky and sometimes she'll randomly just start praying in the car. Over the weekend Graham and I heard her say "Thank you for Mommy and for Daddy" which totally warmed our hearts. There are a few regulars who she ALWAYS includes in her prayers (Rachel, Oliver, Jeremy and Olona) and lately she's added a few inanimate objects such as the light and the moon.

Isla has apparently been paying attention when Graham practices/listens to worship songs. She learned a Hillsong piece without us even realizing it. It was on one day and she was singing right along! "The yost are found, the blind will see. The yame will walk, the dead will live. And you our God, forever you will reign!"

Isla is super smart. She's become quite sneaky at bedtime, doing everything she can to prevent the inevitable. If you are upstairs, she'll usually ask you to change her diaper downstairs and vice versa. She'll suddenly ask to go on the potty or tell you she has a poopy diaper even though you just changed her. She asks for story after story (we have a strict limit of 2 books for this reason) and then wants you to sing her songs on the guitar etc... We certainly don't oblige all her requests but you gotta give it to her, she's pretty creative!

Cold coffee

2011-10-24T14:07:00.000-07:00

This week was rough. I admitted to Graham last night that it was definitely the hardest week for me since Emma's birth (other than her 2nd hospital stay of course--that will always trump!) Isla and I both got sick on Wednesday, just in time for Graham to go back to work Thursday/Friday which meant I was "on duty" from waking to bedtime for both girls. The jury is still out on whether we prefer 8 or 12 hour shifts!!

Anyway, I was feeling rather yucky myself and then add to that a toddler who was sick and whiny and a baby who likes to be held and you don't end of with the greatest of combinations. I couldn't get my hands free for two days straight. And that meant drinking cold coffee because I just couldn't get to it while it was hot. I felt like every sentence out of my mouth was "No Isla!" or "Stop doing that Isla!" or just a plain a very aggravated "ISLA!!!" Poor girl.

After a busy but fun weekend "hosting" family (hosting in quotes because more realistically, my family hosted themselves as I sat around in a daze, sniffling and sneezing and staring off into space), I was totally beat and in need of a good cry (a tell-tale sign of exhaustion for me). We had our 2nd date since Emma's birth on the calendar for Sunday night but we almost cancelled because we just weren't feeling up to it. I'm so glad we didn't.

We were barely off the babysitter's doorsteps before I began to cry. I think I did what we like to refer to as "emotional puke." Out spewed 12 billion thoughts, dreams, desires and frustrations all over the course of a drive downtown to dinner. I was feeling like a terrible awful no good really bad mom and I wasn't sure how I was going to launch into two more straight days of Graham back at work running on such a depleted tank.

My ever-supportive husband listened to my verbal vomit and then offered numerous words of encouragement. After a good night's rest (thanks Isla and Emma!!), I am feeling so much better and it's Monday even!! But there are so many things I want to work on. I want to be more patient, more joyful. I want to learn not to sweat the small stuff. I don't want to run an uptight home.

Motherhood is teaching me more than I ever thought possible. It reveals my ugly sides but I also hope it will reveal some strengths as well. It is by far the hardest job I have ever had. Hands down. No question. I am so thankful the Lord isn't finished with me yet. I have a lot to learn. This week I think I'll focus on joy.

Emma: 7 Weeks

2011-10-18T20:37:00.000-07:00

-Emma has been a cooing and smiling machine all week. I think she's pretty darn close to laughing too. I can't wait!

-Something must have changed this week. We went from having almost no blowouts to my having to remove the cover on the carseat and throw it in the wash THREE times. So far they were timed ok when I had just enough time to get it through the washer and dryer before we had to leave again but I'm sure I won't always be so lucky. I'm tempted through throw a plastic bag or paper towel or something behind her because if she keeps this up, we're never gonna be able to leave the house!
-I discovered that Emma loves lays on her back and look at toys. She doesn't stay occupied for very long doing anything, but setting her up with a couple toys usually buys me 10 or 15 minutes.
-Someone suggested Emma dress up as Elvis for Halloween. What do you think? I mean, look at her hair!

-Yesterday I successfully got Emma to take a nap in her cradle, not being held. I put her in bed tired but still awake and she fell asleep on her own. Then she napped longer than Isla!! I'm hoping we are moving away from her power cat nap trend.
-We seem to have bumped Emma's bedtime up successfully over the weekend. She went down at 10:30 PM on Saturday and then has gone down at 7:30 or 8 PM the last 2 nights. Wahooo!
-I am so incredibly grateful for her sleep habits thus far. I think she did three, 7 hour stretches this week, once of which lasted from 11 PM to 6:30 AM. It is amazing and I am in total shock and awe as Isla didn't sleep like this for MONTHS! Seriously, it makes me giddy. Of course last night was awful, but I can handle the rough ones if they are intermixed with these good ones!

Sisters

2011-10-17T13:57:00.000-07:00

I don't think I ever realized how much I wanted two daughters until it happened to me. Of course I would have been THRILLED to have a son but I'll admit I was secretly (or not so secretly) hoping Baby Crozier #2 would be a girl. I figured this would be our closest spacing between children and I really wanted them to be the same gender. I absolutely adore my older sister and she's been my best friend for 27 years (That's how old I am, right? Having babies the month of my birthday messes with our celebrating so it feels like I skipped two years somewhere in there and I can never remember how old I am--baby brain!!) Anyway, so when whoever it was in the delivery room (it's all a blur now) announced, "It's a girl!," I was elated. I am fully aware that not all sisters get along but I am hopeful these girls will grow up to be the very best of friends. I spent most of my pregnancy with Isla anticipating a boy since, after all, "Croziers only make boys," so it was only after that I began to ponder and anticipate the joys of having girls.....

The most obvious thing to look forward to of course is that Graham will be outnumbered when it comes to movie selections. Chick flicks or bust!!!

Then there are the 20 more toes that will be requiring pedicures on a girls day out....

And I think girls' weekends will be of the essence.

And I must say I'm pretty pumped to shop for puffy prom dresses (though their dates are going to have to go through an extraordinarily rigorous interview process!!!)

I will get to help plan two weddings (forget about paying for them, that's Graham's job!! :))

I love girls. I love their clothes. I love their hair. I am thankful for these two precious daughters!

Today I am thankful....

2011-10-12T16:01:00.000-07:00

-that by golly, I'm having a good hair day.
-that I woke up and it was almost sunny.
-for Graham's leave of absence from school this quarter.
-that I got an 8 hour stretch of sleep last night.
-for meal deliveries and freezer meals.
-that I am now the proud owner of nursing bras that actually fit.
-that Graham has the day off.
-for my $14 drip coffee maker. Actually, I adore that coffee maker.
-that I have a pair of jeans I can zip, even it they do create ghastly love handles.
-that my hubby sent me out the door to Starbucks ALONE and didn't even make me "time it" with feedings. He just told me to GO and NOT WORRY.
-that our mini van is home and fixed.
-for my double BOB stroller WITH the rainshield.
-and of course for my precious little family.

Overheard

2011-10-12T15:30:00.000-07:00

This morning I witnessed the following in downtown Bellevue:

A very pregnant mom loaded her toddler followed by her single BOB stroller into her mid-size SUV. Meanwhile, she spies the mother of two tossing the double BOB with complete ease into the back of her minivan. The pregnant one says: "Wow, we just got this car and I really don't want to have to trade it in already but I'm watching how easy that was for you and I'm beginning to wonder..."

If that's not confirmation that we made the right decision in our car choice, I'm not sure what is! :)

Emma: 6 Weeks

2011-10-11T20:26:00.000-07:00

This little girl has started smiling and I've fallen in love all over again. Times 10! It happened for the first time last Wednesday (10/5) when I got up in her face and said "Hi Emma!" I knew it was a real smile but made her do it like 5 more times, just to be sure. Today I was finally able to catch a picture of it.

I had been swaddling Emma with her arms out because she seemed to like it better after we got home from the hospital. But then this week, after one particularly rough evening when it was nearing 1 AM and she still wasn't asleep, I stuffed her arms inside and wrapped her super tight. She was out in minutes and thus commenced arms-in swaddling.

Oh my little presh presh! I can't get enough of these chubba cheeks!

Emma is sort of a spitty lady. The girl needs to be burped like I need oxygen to breathe. I definitely think she has some mild reflux as she urps and spits and looks like she gagging on a hairball if she is laid down flat too soon after eating. Thankfully I'm learning her cues and can usually tell when she needs a good burp or to be held upright.

She isn't too keen on her bouncy seat but usually falls asleep on car rides in her carseat and will sleep for HOURS afterward if we keep her in it and transfer her inside. She has NEVER slept as well out of the seat and take lots of cat naps that last ~10 minutes.

She's making some fun cooing sounds and you can also see her gag on a hairball in this video. :)

Pumpkin Patch 2011

2011-10-08T14:25:00.000-07:00

We headed out planning to take a walk somewhere in Bellevue but then I suggested going to a pumpkin patch. It could be our only sunny October Saturday afterall! We turned around and, without a map, headed out to the country figuring we'd stumble upon a patch somewhere...

Who knew Duvall was so pretty? Note Mt Rainier off in the distance.

Someone got tuckered out before the party even started

Wouldn't ya know it!? We found a cute little organic farm called Oxbow Farm complete with a u-pick pumpkin patch and a "live playground" (tunnels and teepees made out of veggies) for kids.

We're waiting to carve that prized pumpkin until the next rainy day. Gotta enjoy this beautiful fall weather!

Childhood fears

2011-10-07T19:44:00.000-07:00

Most kids are scared of traditional things: spiders and snakes, the Boogie Man, the dark. It is only recently that I've come to realize I was a little bit odd. My two biggest fears were:

1) that my dad would start smoking

and

2) that my dad would grow a mustache

I don't know why I ever worried about #1. We were always the family that had to be seated as far away as possible from the smoking section when we ate breakfast at Denny's (yes kids, when I was little, people were allowed to smoke in restaurants). Actually, we were usually the family that would get all settled at our table, order our drinks and lick our silverware and then realize the table was not going to work. You see, my Dad would get horrible headaches if he was anywhere near smoke. So if someone in the remote area lit up (which happened EVERY time), we'd have to get up, grab our silverware and parade sheepishly across the restaurant to a new table. Oh man was it ever embarrassing. Needless to say, I'm not sure why I ever worried about fear #1.

Fear #2, however, did actually come true. On a number of occasions. Whenever we went camping or on vacation actually. For whatever reason, my dad would take a break from shaving and decide to let his facial hair run rampant. I hated it and would cry and cry and cry and BEG him to shave. When that didn't work, I'd dig deep into my 10-year-old repertoire of insults and say mean things like "That mustache makes you look like Inspector Gadget" or "You look so OLD!" It never seemed to work and I would cry myself to sleep every night for about a week until my Dad would finally shave (I'm sure he figured it just wasn't worth the drama). Let me tell you, that mustache was super scary.

Today as I was out on a jog, I remembered a 3rd fear. This one maybe a little more "normal" but still a bit off the wall. I was running in the rain when I saw this van approaching. You know, those large, boxy vans with square windows? Basically the shape of the FedEx delivery truck only much creepier. This van was coming my direction and I immediately found myself wanting to run and hide. Only then did it all come back to me. As a child, I was horribly afraid of the dog catcher!! Blame it on one too many viewings of 101 Dalmatians but I was always worried that they were going to nab our sweet dog Mitzi. Didn't the dog catcher drive around in one of those vehicles? Anyway, sometimes I feared they would go as far as to come into our gated backyard and sweep her up with their nasty nets. I always assumed they made their rounds through our neighborhood just as frequently as the garbage truck, that they were wanting to fill the pound with everyone's little puppies (like the pound was in need of any more dogs...) Horror of horrors!

Oh to be a child again and to have these things be my top three fears!

Emma: 5 Weeks

2011-10-04T21:31:00.000-07:00

Emma:
-has started to track this week and I swear she smiled at me multiple times on Wednesday.
-weighed 11 pounds, 4 ounces at her 1 month appointment on Monday (90th percentile!) She is totally out of her newborn clothes and is fitting the 3 month size.
-loves being held. All the time. She usually wakes up the instant you lay her down, unless she is in a deep, deep slumber.
-is such a night owl. She will NOT go to sleep before 11 or midnight no matter how many get-to-sleep methods we try. At least she sleeps a 4 1/2 or 5 hour stretch once she finally goes down.
-no longer likes to lay on our chests. :( She seems to like being held and bounced or patted.
-tried an Avent bottle this week and was able to pace a bit better.

Balance

2011-10-03T15:31:00.000-07:00

I can't do it all.

I've been trying to find some sense of balance over here as we settle back into a routine and a "new normal" now that Graham is back to work. I sort of feel like my life happens in slow motion as I start one thing, make it half or a quarter of the way through and then have to put it down and attend to another. After a number of incredibly frustrating days where I felt like I was getting nothing done, I decided I was being too hard on myself and that I needed to lower my expectations.

As I write this, it's 3 o clock and I haven't yet showered, I'm typing with one hand so I can hold my nursing baby with the other, there are toys strewn all over the living room floor, a carseat out and just waiting to be tripped on, screws, tools and clutter spread across the counter, a coat hanging over the banister, a basket of clean, unfolded clothes that has been sitting at the bottom of the stairs for days, and an unopened present beckoning on the kitchen table (who can't find time to open a gift!?!) Anyway, you get the picture. But at least I got the stroller out of the living room earlier today, the vacuum back in the closet where it belongs and the dishwasher emptied. It's a Christmas miracle! Oh and did I mention there are 2 loaves of chocolate chip zucchini bread baking in the oven (which, by the way, I've been trying to make for 3 weeks now with the last of the zucchini from my garden)? See, I can get some things done.

I just can't do it all.

I'm learning that it's all about priorities. And some might say I'm taking it to the extreme, but it's what is helping me function at the moment. I feel like God is trying to teach me to live in the moment and not to let precious opportunities pass me by. So I'm working on prioritizing. It has been super hard for me to let some of the clutter go. I thrive when I feel like I have a clean "haven" to run to. But I'm learning and am a work in progress.

I have started creating a written "schedule" for the week to help me see the big picture and to help me see each day as a "success." My schedule is simple really. I write out each day of the week and then include any known activities or commitments (MOPS/Dr appts etc). Then, I plan out when I will exercise (I've started my "Couch to 5K" plan and need to fit in 3 runs each week). Lastly, I add the other 2 weekly essentials in the gaps: grocery shopping and cleaning the house. I try to have only one or a max of two things each day so that I set myself up for success. If I have time to do something else, I can, but I give myself permission not to and to just take a break or take a nap instead if needed. I used to do a weekly deep clean and then lots of spot-cleaning throughout the week. I'm trying to let the spot-cleaning go and just remind myself that the house will get a thorough cleaning later on in the week. As silly as it sounds, it has be incredibly hard for me as I THRIVE when everything is squeaky clean.

I'm trying to set a timer for 15 minutes each day for focused play with Isla. It may not sounds like much but it's something and she just eats it up! Also, Graham and I went on our first date last week (sooooo needed) and we are hoping to figure out a system where we can go out twice a month and then have date nights in the other two weeks.

So far I am quite happy with my little system and hope we continue to settle nicely into life as a family of four. I must admit, I'm just loving it!! :)

Emma: 4 Weeks

2011-09-27T19:51:00.000-07:00

Emma is doing great if I do say so myself! I had to start packing up the few newborn clothes I have yesterday as she's already outgrown them--boy that was short lived!

She continues to take a bottle every couple of days or so and seems to be getting the hang of it (sort of). She dribbles lots of milk still but is remembering to breathe now while eating. We have been giving her the bottle COLD, straight from the fridge, because one of my regrets with Isla was spoiling her with warm milk. It's so much easier to feed it cold, especially when you are out and about and have no where to heat it up!

I left Emma for the first time (other than a quick trip to Fred Meyer) on Wednesday night for 4 1/2 hours!! I got to sneak away to a girls night out for a friend's birthday and it was so lovely. Graham had a buddy over who helped with holding Emma while he put Isla to bed but reported that the night went great! Emma took 3 bottles in 4 1/2 hours...

Despite the bottle consumption reported about, it seems like Emma is no longer cluster feeding quite as much in the evening.

Emma has joined me on 3 runs so far this week (I'm back on my couch to 5 K plan) and so far is falling asleep in the stroller.

My sleep report is mixed: we had a couple nights where she was up quite frequently and then another night where she was wide awake from 3-5:30 AM. But then we've also had some nights where she stays up late but then only wakes up once between midnight and 7 AM. I've started trying to do somewhat of an eat, "play," sleep cycle during the day to get her to be awake more. I'm very hopeful we will soon have a good sleeper on our hands!

But on that topic, she is a LOUD sleeper, just like Isla! She grunts and groans and makes goat/sheep sounds when she is first laid down for the night or after a feeding. I'm starting to wonder if she has some reflux because sometimes it sounds like she's really in pain. So far she is still in our room but we'll see how long that lasts...We are still trying to get a good video/audio of the sounds she makes but here's a little intro. Honestly, her eyes are totally closed throughout this!

I had to tie her cradle so it no longer rocks because she was moving and spinning so much in bed that she'd get herself off-center and would tip it and get herself wedged up against the spindles.

Just like clockwork, Emma's baby acne arrived this week, just in time for the shower my sister and friend Rachel threw for us this weekend. The shower was perfect, complete with a hair-clip-making station for her head-o-hair. Emma is going to be the best-dressed girl on the block!

Isla 25 Months

2011-09-25T20:43:00.000-07:00

Isla is adjusting to being a big sister better than I could have ever imagined! There were a couple rough days when we finally came home from our 2nd hospital stay (after more or less abandoning her for 12 days....) She was royally treated by her grandparents while we were "away" and so I think was a little shell-shocked when all was said and done and she had to share the spotlight. But she has does great ever since and LOVES her sister. She usually says "Hi Emma!" or "Hi Little Sister!" with great enthusiasm when she sees her and often asks if Emma can join us in play. She has also proven herself quite helpful in fetching burp cloths or binkies. If Emma is crying, Isla is quick to tell her "It's ok Emma."

The other day I called downstairs to get Graham's attention. Seconds later, Isla walked to the stairway and yelled "Hey Babe!" just as she'd seen modeled. :)

Isla definitely is watching our every move. The other day she slung her purse over her shoulder and told me she was "going to work." She came over and kissed me goodbye and then went into the bathroom and shut the door. She emerged moments later claiming that she was "home from work" and immediately came over to greet me with a kiss. I told Graham that we must be doing something right if she knows a kiss hello and goodbye to be a necessary part of the coming/leaving process! When I asked her what she did for work, she said she was a teacher and that she taught kids about fish.

If you ask Isla how old she is, she will tell you "2 months."

Isla has started incorporating music into her going to sleep routine. If I am putting her to bed and Graham is home, she always asks for Daddy to "sing Isla song." Now she's taking it as far as to specify what instrument she wants him to accompany her with (guitar, "little guitar"--i.e. ukulele).

Isla's bedtime has moved to somewhere between 7 and 8 PM. She usually is the first to point out that "it is getting really dark" and that seems to make her more willing to go to bed.

I'm pretty sure Isla can count to about 14 or 16 now, plus or minus a few.

We took Isla to the Aquarium for the first time this month. She loved all the fish and sea life!

Isla LOVES all the new kitchen toys and fake food she got for her birthday. She loves it when I spread out a blanket on the living room floor so we can have a "picnic" with all her dishware.

Isla also really enjoys reading. Sometimes she'll sneak away upstairs and it'll get really quiet. When I come to check on her, she's usually rocking away in her rocking chair, reading to herself.

The girl has developed a strange obsession with fire. She randomly started asking to pray for inanimate objects like the moon. It wasn't until she started praying for fire that we got a little worried. Don't know what it's all about. All I know is that she wants a BIG fire!

Every once in a while, we see this little dramatic side of Isla. I so hope to catch it on video but she does this thing where she'll ask for something once, then immediately switch into this hushed voiced and through fishy lips quietly say "Isla want more _____" while nodding her head profusely. It is impossible to describe but is HILARIOUS and makes me laugh every time. I have no idea where she got it.

Isla is really, really smart. And she knows it. I'm super proud of her and often underestimate how much she can comprehend. I think she more or less can understand everything we say. And she can talk like nobody's business. I adore this child!

Last days of Summer!

2011-09-20T16:13:00.000-07:00

Summer in Seattle, we sadly bid you adieu! The sun returned to Seattle yesterday today and our little family is trying to soak up every last drop before it disappears again until next year. Today we ventured out to Houghton Beach Park in Kirkland for a picnic lunch, some time at the playground and a quick dip for Isla and Graham. As if one picnic weren't enough, Graham's busy making a fried chicken dinner to take to-go to some other yet-to-be-decided outdoor location.

I think the sun is supposed to stick around until at least tomorrow but then we will do our best to have a good attitude about welcoming fall on Friday!

Emma: 3 Weeks

2011-09-20T16:00:00.000-07:00

We introduced Emma to the bottle last Thursday, at 2 1/2 weeks of age. I am majorly craving a date night and since she nurses like a champ, we figured we'd go ahead and give her a bottle to make sure we didn't miss "the window" where she would take it. For some reason I could only find a medium flow nipple so she had major pacing issues and practically drowned at first--poor girl! Graham had to take the bottle out every few sucks because she wouldn't breathe if he didn't. Finally I located a slow flow nipple and she did better but we'll just say it isn't her strongest skill just yet. She's getting better with subsequent bottles though! I have a great milk supply and so am hoping to get into a pumping routine so we can make bottles at least an every other day part of our schedule.

The night before last, Emma stayed up until about midnight but then once she finally went down, she slept until 5:10 AM and then didn't wake again until 8 something! I'm hoping that starting with a bigger baby will result in better sleep habits earlier on but then last night was horrible so I'm not counting on it!

Graham's cousin Stew brought this lovely number from Korea for Emma. WHAT is THAT? (Doesn't her look just say it all?) Why, it's a Mashimaro of course! She seriously couldn't take her eyes off it. :)

Emma has really taken to the binky which is sort of a relief for me. As much as they are a pain to get rid of later on, at least we can get rid of them (unlike the thumb...)

Emma had her first visit at Children's Hospital this past Friday. We met with a cranial facial pediatrician and a plastic surgeon to have the skin tag in her nose evaluated. They are calling it a cleft nose although it appears very minor. We will take her back for a CT scan at 6 months of age to make sure none of the bones in her face are affected--the doctors are highly doubtful this will be the case. Then they will plan to just follow how her nose grows from there and determine when/if they will do corrective surgery to remove the little polyp and even out her nares if one is slightly higher than the other. Likely it will happen before she enters elementary school.

She is really starting to look around and engage with those around her now. She coos at me when she is quite alert--I just love that!

Isla loves her little sister and often asks for Emma to play with her. Isla had been sick ever since the day after we got home from the hospital and so we'd been trying to keep the 2 apart. Her nose finally stopped running so when she asked to hold her today, I happily obliged.

Emma: 2 Weeks (9/13/11)

2011-09-20T15:39:00.000-07:00

Emma definitely holds the bragging rights that her first 2 weeks of life were more exciting than most!

At her first pediatrician appointment (at 10 days of age), she weighed 9 pounds, 7.5 ounces so was basically back to birth weight. Her weight has been all over the place with all the IV fluids and poor feeding when she was at her sickest but overall she's doing well.

She has a very strong neck and more or less holds it up on her own already. Often I will try to lay her on my chest and she'll pull her head up and crank it to the side, causing her to roll off my chest and flip to her back in the crook of my arm. I really think she does it on purpose because when I return her to my chest, she immediately pulls off again.

Sleep has been quite wild. I am already noticing some pattern now that we seemed to have conquered her day and night confusion. Emma is pretty hard to get down for the night as she wakes up the instant you set her in her bed. Her most awake hours seem to be between 9 and midnight so we sort of have to take turns hanging out with her until she finally falls asleep. Thankfully Graham is a night owl so I've handed her off to him on a couple of occasions and leave them to snuggle and watch movies while I hit the sack. Once she finally goes to sleep, I usually get a 3-4 hour stretch right off the bat. I feed her on both sides and lay her back down and usually she falls asleep but it's like she goes into light sleep mode. She starts getting really loud and grunty and I have a hard time sleeping through it. She usually wants to eat again in 2 hours but only on one side. I'll lay her back down afterward and she'll sleep for a half hour or hour and then want to eat on the other side. We seem to do 1/2 feedings every half hour to hour for the rest of the night which definitely isn't my favorite. We're working on it!

Emma really likes being on her tummy. There have been times where we lay her down for tummy time and she instantly goes to sleep. I really do think if we laid her on her tummy she'd sleep better and deeper but that's a no-go with SIDS risk so we are just going to grin and bare it until it can't be prevented whe she is able to toll to her tummy on her own.

I have opted to swaddle Emma with her arms out from the get go. At the hospital, she was sleeping with her arms up over her head so I didn't want to take them away from her. Now she lays with them by her sides and doesn't seem to need them wrapped so I figure it'll make the swaddle easier to break later on!

We ended up letting Emma have the binky when we were readmitted to the hospital. She sometimes takes it when she is really worked up or hungry but isn't very good at keeping it in her mouth just yet. It basically covers half her face so is quite the crack up visually at this point.

At our pediatrician appointment, our doctor reminded us that evening fussiness should be right around the corner. It's like she jinxed us because that night it started. It's nothing bad or major but Emma does not want to be put down at night and would prefer to eat constantly. I think I've been feeding her more or less every hour for 3 or 4 hours in a row and she acts starving every time. One of the feeds the other night was a 4 oz bottle so volume certainly isn't the problem! I tried putting her in the Moby wrap while going about Isla's bedtime routine to make sure I could do it on my own once Graham goes back to work. It seemed to make her happy so hopefully it'll be manageable.

The Birth Story

2011-09-17T21:45:00.000-07:00

Graham tells me this post needs a preface. Folks, this post is ridiculously long. But I just wanted to document everything! It isn't very graphic but consider yourself warned! And maybe go grab a snack and a cup of coffee in case you need to be refueled partway through....

The last few weeks of my pregnancy were really, really hard. I had drafted the beginnings of a post to summarize my thoughts and how I was feeling but never published it because it felt so negative. But I will include it now because it is all a part of "the story."

Written 8/28/11:
"This post is not going to be glamorous and it probably is not going to be very uplifting. I am just needing a space to vent and process the thoughts whirling in my head.

Man oh man has it been a rough few weeks over here. And for no specific or earth-shattering reasons in particular either. I blame hormones! It is nuts what they control! Beyond the obvious emotional impact, they have been wreaking havoc on the rest of my body in the form of bloody noses and bleeding gums. I can tell they are streaming through my veins at full force!

I have to be honest and admit this pregnancy has taken a toll on me and I am so ready to be done. I told Graham over breakfast this morning: "You know how they say that some people just have this amazing glow when they are pregnant? And they just do pregnancy so well? Well, I realized that I am NOT one of them!" He very sweetly reassured me that he's pretty sure when people talk about the "pregnancy glow," they aren't talking about women in their 40th week of pregnancy. It just isn't the most wonderful of times and that's the truth of the matter."

That's as far as I got. But I'll add a bit more that I'm sure would have made it in the post had I ever sat down and completed it. The month of August was near torture for me. I felt baby (I have to refer to her as "baby" rather than "Emma" when I think about my pregnancy because I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that they are one and the same!) drop early in the month which wreaked total havoc on my already-sensitive digestive system. I felt bigger than a whale, had very few shirts left that didn't leave belly hanging out, and was feeling like a horrible mother because I was just too dang tired and huge to get down on the floor and play with Isla for any length of time. I was over the recommended weight gain goal for a healthy pregnancy and I was feeling super sensitive and guilty about it and just wanted to be DONE!

I had my last scheduled OB visit on Monday, August 29th, 2 days before my due date. Earlier in the pregnancy, when I was making all my appointments, I refused to make a 41 week appointment because I did NOT think I would need it and my doctor said he was ok with that. Graham had technically started his paternity leave on August 25th because we were totally expecting an early baby (I will NOT make that mistake again--I set myself up for major disappointment). But when August 26th rolled around and we still had no baby, Graham started calling into work on a day-to-day basis to get added back onto the schedule. Of course he had to work during my appointment so I went in armed with a list of questions to prepare us for how my doctor manages the end of pregnancy (since we never really had done this before with Isla arriving 2 weeks early). I left my appointment that morning with my name on the books and paperwork in hand for an induction on Friday--totally not what I had planned!! I called Graham and immediately burst into tears. Friday would be September 2nd, and I'd only be 2 days late if we went with the ultrasound due date. What would I tell people? Certainly they would question me and wonder why on earth I was being induced so soon after my due date.

My doctor had checked me and said I was at a "generous 3 1/2 cm" and again said I was "so ready" he wasn't sure why I wasn't in labor at that exact moment. While he was checking me, he did a quick loosening of the membranes. I didn't ask him to and he didn't tell me he was going to do it until he was in process. It sort of cracked me up because some people would have a total cow about that kind of thing but I didn't care. I honestly think he knew it was all it would take to get things started.

But back to the induction thing. I merely asked the question of when he typically starts thinking of inducing and then he quickly jumped to talking about how I was "very inducible" given my current state and then mentioned possible dates and told me to get dressed and then he'd come back with his calendar. Ahhhhh! My heart started skipping beats and I was freaking out and thinking "Wait! That's not what I meant! Or at least, I don't think it was. Ahhh! I don't know what I think. I just want to do what's best for the baby." After I got dressed, the nurse came in with a slip of paper and told me I was on the schedule to be induced on Friday. Whoa. Just like that? She also proceeded to say that my doctor told her I definitely wasn't going to need it (because he just knew my delivery was imminent), but that they'd just schedule it anyway since I didn't have another office visit on the books. I think that's why he didn't spend more time discussing it with me-he knew it would be a moot point.

Anyhow, I left the appointment feeling slightly put off (even though I love my doctor) and totally overwhelmed and unsure. My doctor had estimated my actual due date (given my cycle length) to be more like August 28th which would make me closer to a week overdue come September 2nd. He also said that this baby was "bigger than Isla, but not big" so I knew we didn't want to let him/her overcook too much. But I was also acutely aware that we were approaching a holiday weekend (Labor Day) and if he didn't induce me on Friday, the next best option schedule-wise would be Tuesday which was a 4 day difference. Ooooh. So annoying. The nurse also mentioned that it might actually be a good idea for me to be induced in a controlled environment so that I would be sure to receive adequate antibiotic coverage given my Group Beta Strep (GBS) positive status. With all of these arguments made, I swallowed the lump in my throat and decided to "cross the bridge when/if we got there" as to whether or not to induce. Graham and I agreed we'd reassess how we were feeling on Thursday night and go from there.

Almost immediately following the "loosening of my membranes," I started having dull cramping in my stomach accompanied by bleeding. I went on a nice long walk with a good friend in hopes of "getting things going" and continued to go about my day. The cramps lasted most of the day and at times seemed to be getting stronger but nothing that I would classify as an actual contraction. By late afternoon, the aches were pretty much gone altogether. Darn!

Of course this was the day that our Home Owner's Association decided to come out and fix our leaky outdoor faucet and they told us that we needed to be around for it since it would involve shutting our water off. I told them I'd do my best to be home but that I was very pregnant and things could happen anytime. The look on our property manager's face was priceless when he knocked on our door to start the work. He looked at me as if I was about to drop a baby out on the kitchen floor at any given moment (little did I know that I actually was!) He got to work on the faucet only to have the water pipe behind it break off in his hand (it was that weak). He informed me that this meant the 1 or 2 hour job he was anticipating would now take 5 or 6 hours. Awesome. I refrained from telling him that I was experiencing cramping as I'm sure he would have nervously run the other way.

The pipe was repaired, Graham came home from work, we ate dinner and put Isla to bed. Graham went upstairs to read and I laid on the couch to watch tv and veg out. Around 9 PM, I realized I was having contractions and that they actually seemed to be coming fairly consistently. I decided to start timing them, just for fun. After a half hour of contractions that were 5 minutes apart or less, I decided I'd better go upstairs and tell Graham we might not be sleeping much that night. Of course he'd was already totally out when I went to tell him (and he never goes to bed early!!!) so I had to wake him up to tell him something was starting. We debated whether to make a call to our friends Jeremy and Rachel and transfer Isla to them before they went to bed and just hope things continued to progress or wait until we knew for sure that this was really "it" and wake them up to drop Isla off. By this time, the contractions were getting stronger but still totally manageable and so I told Graham to go ahead and call them. Then I started to shake and this is when I knew for sure that baby was on the way. I'd experienced the same shakes due to adrenaline surges after my water broke with Isla.

We started running around and packing some last items into our hospital bags. I called Overlake to make sure they did indeed want us to come in right away given my GBS + status. They didn't sound the least bit urgent but told us "we probably should come in." I jumped in the shower to freshen up (you never know how long it will be before you get to shower again!), Rachel arrived to pick up Isla and I made Graham help me empty the dishwasher and tidy up the house (definitely can't come home to a messy house!) I was still sort of buying time to make sure my contractions were coming regularly because there were times they seemed to be spacing themselves out.

We took off for the hospital and Graham made me paranoid in the car by asking when we were halfway to the hospital "Have you even had a contraction yet while we've been in the car?" But the contractions continued to get stronger even if there were some that were spaced out a bit. Then they'd randomly pick up and start happening every 2-3 minutes.

We arrived at Overlake at about 11 PM. They took my back to triage and hooked me up to the monitors to check things out. They gathered my info (and the fact that I was 3 1/2 + cm dilated in the office that morning) and decided to check me. Our nurse, Alyson, who also happened to be the charge nurse, said I was just barely at 3 1/2 cm and only 90% effaced (my dr had said I was 100% effaced at my appt the week prior). She questioned whether I'd been having a contraction when he checked me and I said I couldn't remember. Alyson said she was going to have me walk around for a half hour and then check me again to see if anything had happened before they admitted me since I "wasn't progressing." I was totally caught off guard and reminded her that I was GBS+ and needed to make sure I got antibiotics in prior to delivery.

I was NOT feeling like walking at this point and so opted to lay on the triage bed and try to relax between contractions as I was pretty tired and awfully comfy (all things considered) in the reclined position. Of course, over the next half hour, the contractions started getting pretty gnarly, making any and every position uncomfortable. We were still really confused about why they weren't admitting me and getting the antibiotics started though. I couldn't have been happier when my doctor popped his head in around midnight. I sort of laughed and said "Long time no see!" I totally had an "Ah hah" moment where I realized that he must have just known I was going to go into labor that night (when he was on call) after loosening my membranes in the office...

I was so thankful when he sort of sternly told my nurse that I was to be admitted and started on antibiotics. It was then that our nurse (who ++remember was also charge nurse) told us that they had no open beds. OHHHHHH! NO WONDER!!! And...wait a second...no beds??? Ummmm....

Alyson started my IV which was a total breeze (if you're recall, having an IV was my biggest fear when I was pregnant with Isla--ha--little did I know that there would be worse things like ummmm....LABOR!!)Anyway, I actually found the coolness of the IV fluid entering my arm to be quite soothing (weird? yes.) Or maybe it was just that it was a nice distraction. Antibiotics were hung and the contractions continued to worsen. Graham turned on some Jim Brickman piano music and I just laid on my side on the triage bed, trying to sleep between contractions. Anytime one would come, I would start to squirm and try to sit up or change positions and breathe only to realize that absolutely nothing made the pain any better. Meanwhile, the lady on the other side of the curtain who was sharing the triage room with me was moaning and groaning as if death was imminent. At first it wasn't so bad but after awhile, the sounds actually began to nauseate me.

After laying there for a bit, Graham started to notice that my contractions were getting further apart and so urged me to get up and walk. I begrudgingly obliged. We only made it one time around the post partum and labor and delivery loop. The staff was hustling and bustling about and wheeling patients every which way. I quickly discovered that being on my feet was extremely uncomfortable as the contractions seemed to be coming every 30 seconds to 2 minutes. Every time one would hit, I would grab the bar lining the hall and hunch over, trying to breathe but mostly trying not to scare any passersby. It seriously took us over 20 minutes to make the short loop because the contractions were coming so frequently.

I gladly returned to "my" triage bed and laid back on my side. By this time I was in a lot of pain and was beginning to second guess whether I could actually do this. I distinctly remember Alyson coming to check on me and laying a hand on me during a tough contraction and telling me I was doing so awesome. I thought that might annoy me but her quiet presence was actually quite soothing. My "roommate" was wheeled out in a wheelchair (only to subsequently deliver as soon as she got to a room as I was later told). The contractions were coming super fast and furious and it was then that I decided I did not need to try and be "the hero" and that one dose of pain meds would be ok.

We called Alyson in and told her I wanted a half dose of Nubane to start. I think it was about 1 or 1:30 AM by this time. She said she needed to check me first to make sure I wasn't at 10 and ready to push or anything and she said I was at a 6. She told me how good of a job I was doing and then sort of outlined her plan: "I think we'll give you a dose of meds, get you into a room and then have a baby in an hour."

Have a baby in an hour?! What?! Both of us were wondering how she could possibly make that prediction especially given the fact that I was only at a 6. Aren't I only supposed to dilate ~1 cm an hour? Anyway, she couldn't have been more spot on. It's like she does this for a living or something. Maybe she could tell by the strength and frequency of my contractions or by how I'd gone from 3 1/2 to 6. Whatever the case, she knew her stuff!

She gave me a 1/2 dose of the IV Nubane and it sort of did something but not much. I asked her how soon we'd be able to determine whether I should have the other 1/2 dose and she said that if I wanted it, I should probably have it now as I couldn't get it too close to delivery (which happened with Isla). I opted to go ahead and have another 1/2 dose and what a wise decision it was! I immediately started to relax. Don't get me wrong, the pain was still there (!!!) but I was sort of able to sleep/"go to my happy place" between contractions.

The contractions continued nearby on top of one another when it hit. "Uh oh!" I exclaimed. "I feel like I need to push!" Then commenced a complete flurry of activity. Poor Alyson was on the phone in seconds and cheerfully reported that a bed had just opened up 10 minutes prior. She asked me if I could get in a wheelchair but by this point the contractions were too hard for me to sit up so she opted to roll me down the hall on a stretcher. She had someone page my doctor and he later told me he had to have the nurse repeat my name 3 times because he couldn't possibly believe I could be ready to deliver already. Another nurse came into the room to help gather supplies and both her and Alyson were running around trying to get the warmer on and the cart set up for my doctor.

Meanwhile, I was really feeling the need to push so said something like "Ummm, what am I supposed to do with these urges!!?" Alyson told me I could push lightly, just enough to relieve the pressure. I did so but tried my best to hold off as I was worried baby would shoot out across the room before anyone was ready. It took about 5 minutes for my doctor to arrive but when he did, he quickly broke my water (such a weird feeling--it seems like a ridiculous amount of fluid and so warm too) and then the real pushing began.

Almost immediately, Alyson said "The head is right there!" I misinterpreted her to be saying the head was out and was thinking Holy cow that was easy! Unfortunately, it wasn't quite that easy but really I can't complain. A few more pushes later and the head really was out! And then I think only one more hard push and out came the rest of her at 2:36 AM. My first thought was that we'd had a boy and I'm not sure if that's because I saw the umbilical cord or what. Then someone announced "It's a girl!" and I made some sort of joyous remark that I don't recall. They placed her on my chest and showered me with millions of compliments about how I did such a good job. They kept saying how they couldn't believe I delivered naturally (they don't count the Nubane I guess) and with such ease. I realize that these nurses see babies born every day but they seriously made me feel like I did something amazing. They were so affirming and positive-it blew me away and made me feel like a superstar.

Alyson said I pushed for about 5 minutes total and after we weighed her and realized how big she was, she kept telling me I was "just made to birth babies!" I'm not quite sure how I fit a 9 pound, 8 ounce baby inside of me, but it sure explains why I was SO UNCOMFORTABLE those last few weeks!

After hearing her measurements, we began to discuss name options (yes, we were still undecided). The name we were going to use for a girl didn't seem to "fit" and Graham really wanted her to have a feminine name given her large birth weight. We threw around a bunch of our top names and finally he just wrote "Emma Grace" on the whiteboard and said "That's it!" Emma had been on our list at one point but was eliminated due to its supposed popularity. When we asked Alyson if she'd seen a lot of Emma's she said she hadn't and that it seemed to be more common 5 years ago. So there you have it. Emma it was.

My labor start to finish was 5 1/2 hours and we only spent 3 1/2 hours in the hospital--I'll take it! Unfortunately this meant I didn't get the antibiotics in soon enough and they had to watch Emma for 48 hours after delivery. But other than that, I'd take a quick delivery any day! Somehow I managed to only suffer a 1st degree tear this time around (I think I had a 2nd degree w/ Isla) so all around this birth was faster and "easier" I guess you could say. Although I found that even though I pushed less this time around (I think I pushed for 10 minutes with Isla), it was definitely harder and more painful. And the stitches afterwards were also more painful (maybe because the Nubane had long worn off?)

The staff later told us that a total of 11 babies had been born between the time I arrived at the hospital and the time Emma was born. Eleven babies is usually the total number they have in a day, not in a 3 1/2 hour time frame! No wonder they didn't have beds! Graham's coworker who was working on his floor that evening told him that at one point, she heard them announce over the hospital loudspeaker "Any obstetrician in the house, please report to labor and delivery immediately." CRAZY! I guess they were desperate.

All in all, it is pretty wild to compare the similarities between Isla and Emma's births. Labor started on a Monday with both and then both were born on a Tuesday. Both were born late August on days when the floor was super busy. We were assigned the charge nurse both times (who usually doesn't take patients) since they didn't have any other nurses available.

That night was a wild ride but I look back on it with pride. Nothing ever goes as expected (hello! I didn't even get a room until 10 minutes before Emma arrived!) but I was quite pleased with our experience nonetheless. I no longer feel the need to try and go completely naturally. I really like the way the Nubane works for me and I would opt to do it again in the future.

Almost immediately following Isla's birth, Graham, totally in awe, said "Let's do this 4 times!" At the moment, I couldn't even fathom the idea. But now that I have these two precious girls, I think I just might be up for the challenge!

Dads and Daughters

2011-09-11T20:37:00.000-07:00

Some friends recently asked us what we did to keep ourselves busy during our 5 day hospital stay. Did we get bored? It's amazing how you just go into this "other mode" when a crisis situation strikes, and compared to what I'm used to seeing, five days is really a rather short length of stay. We look back on the past week and can hardly believe it is already Sunday again. Only just one week ago, we were laying Emma down for the night, only to wake up and rush her to the ER. Time just flew by in one solid blur. We spent a lot of time at the hospital waiting, hours upon hours of holding, time praying, time crying. My pastor published this very timely post while we were in the trenches, so to speak, with Emma, a post about being still and reflecting.

On one of the evenings, after things started looking up again, Graham and I took a moment to pause and reflect. We rolled the bedside table over to the bed and dined on a meal of green salad, pasta, crusty bread, salami & cheese (thanks to our wonderful family and friends who kept an ongoing supply of meals and snacks coming!) I sipped on chocolate milk and we talked about how we were doing, what this whole ordeal meant. Neither of us believe that God causes this kind of painful situation to happen in our lives. The God we believe in is not out to get and hurt us. But we do believe He works through the hard times to teach us, and grow us as individuals and in our relationship with himself.

I very tearfully pointed out the positives in all this, the things that I will take away. I cannot even tell you how wonderfully painful it was to watch Graham and his littlest girl. When we came into the ER, I was fully expecting him to be the strong, rock solid nurse, present for all the procedures, taking everything in stride. And don't get me wrong, strong he most certainly was, but it a totally different and unexpected way. When the ER doctor came to do the lumbar puncture (spinal tap), he asked if we both wanted to be there. I told him I would stay if he needed me to but deferred to his wisdom as to whether it was something a mother should witness. He took one look at my puffy eyes and red face and recommended I step into the waiting room and so Graham volunteered to stay at Emma's bedside. When they brought me back into the exam room, I looked at Graham and knew something was up. I figured he was still kicking himself for not going to Overlake but as it turns out, that wasn't it at all.

When the inexperienced nurse began to dig around in Emma's little arm for a vein, Graham said he needed to go for a walk. "A walk?!" I balked. "Right now?" After that reaction, he stayed by my side but proceeded to pace the room nervously. After the nurse failed to get the IV and left the room, he completely broke down. When I asked him what was wrong, he shared how it was so hard to watch these things he sees happen on a daily basis, happen to his child. The tears he shed were heart-wrenching. But there was also so much beauty in those tears.

I know they say it takes a father a lot longer to bond with a new baby than it does the mother. But I think the diamond in the rough of this story is that we both came out of it so incredibly bonded to this sweet baby, so thankful that the Lord saw fit to bless us with another little girl. Granted I would never, ever wish this sort of experience on anyone, but am so thankful for the amazing connection that I witnessed being formed between Daddy and Daughter. I've told Graham time and time again and I will say it once more: he is just made to father daughters and our girls are very, very blessed.

Emma's week

2011-09-08T16:09:00.000-07:00

I don't know if words are ever going to be able to capture and accurately express the emotional roller coaster ride we have been on over the past 9 days. I had fully intended on first and foremost writing a post about Emma's birth before the details grew foggy but now I'm feeling the need to document all the thoughts that have been running through my head over the course of the last few days.

I am feeling so completely overwhelmed by the army of prayer warriors who have been lifting us and our sweet Emma Grace up before the Lord in prayer. I have not even attempted to count but know we have literally hundreds of people who have told either us directly or other family members that they are praying. And we can definitely feel it. On Tuesday, when things were looking pretty scary, both sets of grandparents were present to pray tearfully and fervently together with us as we faced the decision of whether or not to transfer Emma to Children's Hospital. Not more than a couple hours later, all of Emma's vitals turned around and began heading in the right direction! The power of prayer is amazing.

So for those of you who are wondering how this all came about, I'll fill you in with the details. I'll be posting eventually about the details of Emma's birth but for now all you need to know is that it went very smoothly but was quite fast. I was Group Beta Strep positive (GBS), which about 25% of healthy women are and basically all that means is that I needed to get IV antibiotics at least 4 hours prior to delivery to ensure that Emma got coverage she needed to protect her from getting an infection. Of course she decided to arrive after about only 2 1/2 hours on antibiotics so they kept us hospitalized 48 hours + after delivery to make sure Emma wasn't showing any sign of illness. She did great so we discharged home last Thursday, healthy, happy and tired.

All I can say is that I am so incredibly thankful that I work in the field that I do. I'm not sure I would have acted as quickly as I did had I not known from working in the NICU how quickly a baby's body can be overtaken by infection. Emma was acting totally normal on Sunday during the day, maybe just a little more sleepy in retrospect. We put her to bed about 10 PM and she didn't wake to eat on her own. At 2 AM, after way too long of a stretch of sleep, I tried to wake her. She'd started making some funny sounds in her sleep (Isla was known for doing this too so it would have been easy to think nothing of it) and when I touched her, she felt hot. We had her in a fleece swaddle since it was hot out and we were sleeping with the window open. I immediately pulled it off and took her temp. I can't remember what my initial reading was because I took it so many times but I know it was more than 100, maybe 100.4. I got on my pediatrician's webpage and read that increased temps are common in newborns due to overdressing them so I striped her down naked and waited to see if her temp normalized. At this point, shaking and with tears running down my cheeks, I woke Graham and told him I was pretty sure she had a fever. He told me to wait the 1/2 hour recommended on the website after striping her down and reassured me that it was probably environmental.

Thirty minutes later, her temperature was no better. I think the highest reading I got was 100.8. We called the after hours line at our peds office and meanwhile I got her to eat. A triage nurse from Children's called us back in 20 minutes and told to take her to the Evergreen Hospital's ER, as it was the closet to our home. I am so thankful my mom was still staying with us! It was around 3:45 AM by this time and so I ran to her room, told her Emma had a fever and that we were going to the ER and we were out the door in minutes.

When we arrived at the ER (after running a red light that just wouldn't turn green), I immediately began to question our decision to come to Evergreen. The triage nurse beckoned me back and asked "What's up?" I proceeded to tell her that I'd delivered 6 days prior and was GBS positive, inadequately treated with a precipitous delivery. She gave me this look like she had no idea what I was talking about and asked "What's GBS?" Now I realize that the average person would have no clue what the above sentence means had I rattled it off to them. But anyone in the medical field who works with babies should immediately know what I was talking about and begin to ACT as GBS sepsis can take a baby's life very quickly if not treated right away. This lady leisurely called me back, put Emma on the scale with her clothes and diaper on (totally inaccurate!) and proceed to get a rectal temp of 101.7. The taking of the temperature caused Emma to poop and we noticed her stool was completely watery. The nurse make a grossed out face and said something to the effect of "I'm ok with it if she poops on my hand, but definitely not on my face! She's all yours from here, Mama. I've changed enough babies raising three of my own." Wow. Not exactly what you want to hear in a moment like this.

We were moved from triage to a room in the ER and a new nurse appeared. She got a little background and then the doctor arrived. Thankfully, he understood my GBS mumbo jumbo (and the fact that I was likely in the medical field given how it rolled easily off my tongue) and began to take action. He was probably the only professional presence we encountered in the ER. He ordered a blood culture, urine culture, lumbar puncture (spinal tap), IV antibiotics and a blood count and told us he was going to need to admit Emma given my history and her presentation (by now she was breathing really fast and continuing to grunt). The nurse got to work trying to implement these orders, all the while making really reassuring comments like "Hmmm, not sure how we do that here" and "I'm a traveler so I'll need to check on that" and "Wow, I've never had a patient this small before!" When she was trying to get the IV started, you could tell she was second guessing herself as she asked Graham if he wanted to take a look and see if he could "see a vein there." Throughout all the poking, Emma just laid there on the table, not even attempting to fight it.

Graham was pacing and I was crying and completely regretting that we didn't make the slightly longer drive south to Overlake where they had Emma's records and where I knew the staff. I began praying that we'd made the right decision, telling myself that the Children's nurse would not have sent us here if it wasn't where we needed to be.

We should have asked right then and there that they send a pediatric or NICU nurse to start the IV but our heads were swimming. Graham kept telling me it would be ok and that we did what the Children's nurse told us to do. He hugged me and thanked me for being persistent and going with my gut even when he told me the temp was probably just due to overheating in the swaddle.

After one failed IV start and a catheter attempt that Emma basically peed completely around, they told us they were sending us up to the peds floor where a NICU nurse would start the IV. Phew. The NICU charge nurse met us upstairs and immediately got to work, verbalizing the importance of getting the antibiotics going immediately which made me feel better. Finally someone who knew what they were doing! She went to working poking and prodding in Emma's little hands, unable to find a good vein. She explained that in sepsis, blood flow slows to the extremities, making it quite challenging to get a vein. I knew Emma was a "hard stick" when she started praying over her as she poked. Finally she got one in and relief washed over me along with a pool of tears.

By now, we'd been at the hospital for about 2 hours and it was 6 AM. The events of the rest of the day are already a blur but numerous labs and cultures were drawn and sent and the doctor came by to assess Emma. Little did I know, the same doctors who work on my peds floor in Everett also work down here so I was pleased to see familiar names/faces. Emma was started on oxygen to help relieve her work of breathing and the nurses took her temperature almost hourly and it only seemed to be climbing. The doctor came by about 5 or 6 times during a 24 hour period and spent more time with us than I've ever witnessed from a doctor. He was obviously quite worried. Our care from the moment we arrived on peds was 110% better and I felt very confident and reassured that this was where we needed to be.

Things began looking grim after 24 and then 36 hours of fever that could not be relieved, even with Tylenol. Emma's heart rate was inching toward 220 beats per minute, far too high for my comfort level. We began to talk about the possible need to transfer her to Children's where she would have access to a higher level of care should the sepsis overwhelm her body and she start to deteriorate. Meanwhile, the doctors here consulted with the infectious disease doctors at Children's, trying to piece together her puzzling presentation. Apparently she had a lot of people stumped since her cultures were all coming back negative and she remained febrile for such a long period. The poor girl barely opened her eyes and wanted to be held constantly but not messed with. She continued to grunt and moan and was obviously in a lot of pain. The doctors began talking about looking for other potential sources of infection such as endocarditis (infection of the heart) or internal abscesses on various organs or in her joints.

On Tuesday morning, the doctor basically said that if things weren't improving by late afternoon, we'd discuss shipping her to Children's. I felt totally overwhelmed and panicked by the gravity of the decision, not wanting to be held responsible if we chose to stay here and then things fell apart and also not wanting to head across the water to a unit where we'd be unable to room in and spend 24 hours a day at Emma's bedside. An echocardiagram (heart ultrasound) was performed that afternoon and there was talk of doing a more detailed ultrasound of her body to look for these possible abscesses.

You can work with ill patients every day and somehow not let it phase you, but when it's your daughter's well-being that's in jeopardy, it's a whole different ballgame. Thankfully, by the GRACE of God, Emma's condition turned around literally a couple hours before we were to have to make the decision. It was made for us and I couldn't have been more relieved. Emma's temperature began to go down, her heart rate dropped below 200 and she began to perk up a little bit. She spiked one more temperature that night but then has not had another one since!

And here I sit, having barely left Emma's bedside since the wee hours of Monday morning. I am thankful to say she is on the mend and we may get to go home tomorrow if the last couple pending tests come back negative. Initially we all thought Emma had a late onset GBS infection but with all the negative cultures and tests, it is looking more and more like some unknown and never-to-be-known virus that brought this all about.

Thank you EVERYONE for all the prayers, texts, calls, food and Isla care you've provided over the past week. We feel so loved and cared for.

Someone's looking mighty fine this morning, don't you think?

Meet Emma Grace

2011-09-02T01:25:00.000-07:00

We are now a family of four! Emma Grace Crozier joined our family on August 30th at 2:36 AM. Her entrance into the world was, may I say, fast and furious but more on that whole bit later.

Our nurse, Alyson, was awesome and so encouraging throughout the process. She kept telling me in the delivery room that Emma was a big baby and I figured she meant 8 pounds big...

The moment of truth: 9 pounds, 8 ounces big! WHAT!?

Tired but very relieved mommy

Daddy meets his daughter

We had quite a few middle-of-the-night visitors: Grandma (pictured) & Grandpa Wilson

Grandma & Grandpa (pictured) Crozier

Other visitors (not pictured) included Auntie Lani, Uncle Michael and cousin Gideon.

First bath!

Emma has thick, long and dark hair.

Our visitors went home in the wee hours of the morning and then our friends Jeremy, Rachel and Oliver brought Isla to meet her little sister at about 6 1/2 hours of age (9 AM). My parents also stopped by for another visit.

We love, love, love her and are getting to know her better each day. Much more later!

Best Birthday Ever, the perspective of a 2 year old

2011-08-26T21:18:00.000-07:00

When Isla called out for me in the morning, I greeted her with a "Happy Birthday" solo which caused her to grab the crib rail and begin gleefully jumping up and down. Next came breakfast on the special birthday plate. Isla picked up on it real fast and kept repeating "Isla special!"

Daddy dyed her milk blue--this milk is weird! She downed the whole cup.

Next arrived a pancake with a "candle on" and another rendition of "Happy Birthday." We'd planned to take breakfast to-go and eat at a coffee shop since Isla often asks to go to the coffee shop. But this morning, when we asked her if she wanted to have pancakes at a coffee shop, she told us "No, pancakes at home." Ok fine but don't say we didn't try!

She's learning some extra cheesy faces for photo shoots.

Wouldn't ya know it, as soon as breakfast ended, someone asked to go to the coffee shop. Go figure! She got her first taste of chocolate milk and proceeded to ask for "other milk." Apparently she's not a fan!

Next stop: Peter Kirk Park for some time on the slides.

Look! My shadow waves back!

Whoa, we happened upon a strong air vent on the street. What fun!

Let's go to the "cool!"

Someone was getting a little tired but wasn't about to stop.

I'm pretty sure her sunscreen "massage" could have put her to sleep--she loves back rubs and ask for them often!

Perked back up again and ready for a picnic. APPLESAUCE!

Her Daddy had been dying to take her to the "peanut pool" at Green Lake, a fond memory of his as a kid. Needless to say, it was a hit.

The birthday girl crashed for a nap at home and then enjoyed a outdoor dinner of roasted chicken, zucchini fritters, polenta (made by her Daddy) and a green salad with strawberries and goat cheese courtesy of our last-minute dinner guests, Jason and Earecka. Meanwhile, her mommy was experiencing some serious contractions and was nervous the party was going to end early.

And for birthday dessert? Homemade frozen yogurt with raspberries and blueberries! She ate every last drop.

Happy, happy birthday sweet Isla girl!

2 Years = 24 Months!

2011-08-25T12:31:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe this little baby of mine has turned 2! Everyone always says it but it's so true! My little baby has morphed into a walking, TALKING, song-singing big girl!

And quite the singer she is! She can sing all of Twinkle, Twinkle, Jesus Loves Me, the ABCs, Happy Birthday (although she never seems to quite get the "Happy Birthday Dear so-and-so" quite right) and the Clean up, Clean up song. I love her rendition of "Clean Up." She sings "Clean up, clean up! Everybody, every better, clean up, clean up! Everybody do your share." It totally doesn't rhyme but is so adorable.

Isla had her 2 year appointment last week. She is growing great, weighing in at 26 pounds, 6 ounces (50%) and measuring 33 inches (25-50% but closer to the 50th). Our doctor was really impressed by her vocabulary and I was so proud of her! She wasn't the least bit shy and just chatted it up with the doctor and was totally ok with the entire examination. New things to report: Isla is not color blind (hooray--this is one area we can't seem to make progress on which I was affirmed is totally normal, Isla is now transitioned to 2% milk (or "blue" milk as we call it since the milkman now delivers it in blue cartons), it is time to start using real toothpaste on Isla's teeth, we should take her in for a dental exam (as soon as we get her on our dental insurance....), she has mild eczema in her "elbow pits" which we should treat with hydrocortisone ointment and vasoline, she can now have a whole kids multivitamin (she had been getting 1/2) and it is totally normal for 2 year olds to lose their interest in potty training and therefore we should not push it (which we haven't been).

She's been able to walk up and down stairs now for a month or two. I usually prefer she go down on her belly still but she can totally walk on her own with a hand rail.

Her hair is finally long/thick enough to put in a little ponytail on top of her head. We've been having fun trying out a couple of styles (including the tiny ponytail in the back pictured below) but it is still so wild and crazy and hard to tame. We love it though.

We got rid of our high chair almost 2 weeks ago. Initially we were just loaning it out to friends but now that we realize how much space in freed up in our kitchen and that she does fine on our chairs, I don't think we want it back. It was becoming a bit of a hazard now that she can get up in it (and then jump down!) on her own. Right now her eating thrown is atop my Gourmet cookbook on one of our pub chairs, covered by a classy white trash bag (to "protect" the already-horribly-stained white cushions). I'm thinking we might still get a booster seat as baby will need a place to eat eventually but for now I'm enjoying my "larger" kitchen!

Isla really seems to enjoy moving furniture. One of her favorite activities is to slide our kitchen chairs to various parts of the kitchen (usually right up at the counter). Sometimes she sets great traps for me as I'm frantically trying to do meal prep. She usually does this while I cook so she can watch or "help." Lately though my cooking technique is not interesting enough so she loves to go through the silverware drawer and get everything out. She also has been getting into our "junk drawer" and likes to grab the scissors, matches etc (just when you think you're done child-proofing...!!) Yesterday, she painted her legs and fingers with White Out while Daddy wasn't looking. Oops.

Isla LOVES going to the park. If you ask her what she wants to do today, she'll usually eagerly answer "Park! Swing! Slide!" Once at the park, she will literally loop up the stairs and down the slide for 30 minutes straight if you let her. She's able to play pretty independently now on the big toys which is nice.

Isla continues to love reading and playing with blocks or the wooden train at her Grandma and Grandpa Crozier's. I will often find her upstairs in her room, rocking in the rocker and "reading" to herself.

Isla is paying attention!! I been catching her repeating things played on the radio on numerous occasions and was shocked when out of nowhere she finished the "Spirit one o five -- three" radio jingle in perfect pitch. The other day I was expressing to Graham how tired I was and said something oober-draumatic like "I literally feel like I could die." Isla proceeded to repeat "Mama die! Mama die!" for the remainder of the car ride. Another oops.

Isla is a little tomato thief. She loves to sneak out back and eat as many cherry tomatoes as she possibly can before we catch her. She knows the yellow ones are the "good ones" but she'll eat them green if she can't find any that are ripe. She does the same with my strawberries. It feels wrong to scold her for eating such healthy foods but she knows she is supposed to let Mommy or Daddy help her pick as she's been known to rip off entire branches by accident.

Unfortunately Isla picked up a little attitude in the past week or so. She's known the word "No" for quite some time but now she's added some force behind it when she says it and I'm pretty sure it's her new favorite word (she's 2, what can I say?)

Isla really seems to understand that a new baby is on the way. The other day she told us "Isla go to hospital." When we asked her what for, she looked at us with this look that totally read Duh Mom and Dad! and said "New baby!!" Lately she's been talking a lot about the baby in her belly or the one that is hiding in her bib.

Pregnancy 2: 39 Weeks

2011-08-24T14:13:00.000-07:00

I really hope this is my last pregnancy post, but I realize there is a chance I could have another week to 10 days to go (please no!!!) Today was my initial due date (by dates) so I'm hopeful. But then again, tomorrow is Isla's birthday and if we don't get the show on the road soon, the kiddos might have to share a special day.

It is seriously CRAZY to me that I could go to bed one night and then before the sun is up, have had a baby. I think about it every night before bed and I CANNOT WAIT! The anticipation is starting to officially kill me. I spend a lot of the night these days laying there awake, wondering if my water will break. It is so weird how you just expect things to go the way they did with your first. My water broke at midnight with Isla and so therefore if I wake up after midnight without sign of any action, I catch myself thinking "Well, I guess it's not happening tonight."

Which leads me to another thing. I don't really know what real, natural labor feels like. I was trying to refresh my memory and remember what the 5-1-1 rule stood for from our birthing class so I would know when to go to the hospital in case labor actually doesn't start with a middle-of-the-night-bed-wetting. Confession: I had to Google it to figure out what the last 1 stood for (contractions 5 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute in duration for at least 1 hour). Anyhow, every time I have a contraction, I think "Oh! This could be it!" I had been having a LOT of painful ones ~37 1/2 weeks but then they really died down only to pick up again yesterday.

In case you were wondering, I don't have PIH which is exactly what I expected. The extra workup they did last week was definitely overkill but better to be safe than sorry! My blood pressure was on the higher end again yesterday (130/80) but I'm pretty sure that's because I was stressed out that it might be high. The fact that the blood pressure cuff kept literally inflating itself right off my arm also led me to believe that the nurse might not have gotten the most accurate measure...

In other news, my doctor checked yesterday and I'm dilated to 2 cm, 100% effaced and he said the head is "right there." He basically told me I was so "ready down there" that he wasn't sure why I wasn't in labor at that current second. Cool beans! But he also said now we are just waiting for the baby to decide it is time. Which could still be a while. After he checked me, contractions starting picking up and I was feeling really funny and listless. I was hopeful it meant something but here I am, still pregnant.

I've been having a lot of nerve pain in my legs lately (most the right one). Not sure what the baby is bumping up against but it sends the sharpest pain down my leg that literally causes me to scream (and sometimes nearly fall over). It totally freaks Graham out every time it happens. Pregnancy is a dangerous sport, I tell ya.

Over the weekend, summer arrived in the NW and temperatures jumped above 80 for almost the first time all "summer." This did a number on my footsies, causing some major swelling action. I noticed at work on Friday that my shoes were feeling awfully tight (so much so that I was starting to limp) and then after work I put on my walking shoes only to find I had to loosen the laces so much I barely had enough left over to tie! We went to the NW WA Fair up in Lynden on Saturday and my feet looked like sausages when the day was through. They didn't return to anywhere near normal until Monday.

I have decided not to get on the scale again for the rest of the pregnancy. The number does more harm then good so I'm just going to leave well enough alone. Of course I forgot that they'd be weighing me at my appointment yesterday and I gained 4 pounds in a week!! I think I can say with full confidence though that I'm retaining water.

I guess you could say I've been nesting a bit. I am keeping the house extra clean "just in case" because it would seriously nearly kill me to have to come home from the hospital to a messy house. My freezer is also stocked with 15 cups of homemade marinara, 45 large meatballs, a braided pizza loaf, creamy chicken enchiladas, pesto ravioli, gnocchi gratin, huevos rancheros and maple-glazed salmon. Can you tell I'm wondering where I will find time to cook once I have TWO? I also have all the fixings to make BBQ Pork Chops w/ sauteed apples and Spicy Honey-Glazed Chicken thighs and was also going to whip up a double batch of my peanut sauce that can be thrown together with shrimp and green beans for dinner in a hurry. Oh and tomorrow I'm going to roast my first whole chicken! Nesting.....?

We still haven't settled on a girl name yet. And yes, the small font is intentional because I'm feeling a bit sheepish. I wasn't even going to mention it but figured I needed to have it documented for this baby's pregnancy journal. We sat down last night and listed all of our favorite names with the goal of crossing off ones that the other absolutely couldn't stand. Somehow though, it ended up being a "his" and "her" list and we sort of just crossed off all of the others' names. We will have one though, I'm choosing not to worry. We have a lot of good options. We just need to see the baby's face and figure out which one "fits."

I am getting so. tired. Like more tired than I have ever been in all my life. Yesterday I didn't think I was going to be able to stand up. Thankfully, I'd planned to walk with a friend and the accountability got me out the door and somehow miraculously walking. I really don't know how I made it through the rest of the day but somehow even managed to grocery shop and clean the house. Today I am being ridiculously lazy but my body is asking for it so I'm gladly obliging.

For all you non-pregnant folk, I'm not making this whole thing sound very glamorous now am I?

The Name Game

2011-08-19T15:56:00.000-07:00

Much to my dismay, we are stilled undecided on a girl name for this baby. I thought we had settled on one a couple weeks ago but then I think in retrospect, I was actually just settling so that the decision could be over. The name we chose was "ok" but it didn't excite me. That's probably not a very good sign. When Graham told me on Wednesday that he was uncertain again too, I burst into tears. I'm pretty sure some phrase like "Don't alter my equilibrium!" may have escaped from my lips. But really, I'm so thankful we are reconsidering again.

We have just had so many rules:
1) it can't be too popular
2) it can't sound too much like "Isla" if yelled up the stairs (ex: Ella, a name that I just love)
3) it needs to have a good meaning or at least not mean something horrid like "born with a crooked nose"
4) it can't end in "er" because that sounds funny paired with "Crozier"
5) it needs to be unique but not crazy unique--one of us needs to have heard of someone named it before
6) it would probably be nice of us to use a family name
7) we both need to love it
8) we also need to love the nicknames that go with it
9) it should sound good paired with Isla (because we'll forever be listing our kids' names off to people)
10) it needs to be more than one syllable in length
11) it needs to be less than three syllables in length
12) guess that leaves us with only two syllable names
13) European names are nice
14) maybe we should give all our kids names that have an island or water theme
15) or maybe they should all have something to do with months of the year (Isla June)

And the list continues. As you can see, we made the whole ordeal nearly impossible. But now push is coming to shove and eventually we will need to choose something. I think I am having such a hard time partially because we have spent so much time researching (like we tend to do with vacations and other important decisions in our life) and reading and re-reading name books that nothing sounds news and fresh and exciting to me anymore. There are moments where I can't remember what I like anymore and goodness knows I can't find anything that fits our 15 rules!!! It's like I am secretly hoping that the baby is just going to come out with a name written on it in sharpie (wouldn't that be...uhhh....nice? Not.) Or that the baby will be whisked away from me for a brief time and then come back with a name. Voila!

But really, I want neither of those two options and so I've decided to throw most all the rules out the window! I gone through the list of all the names we've ever loved and have whittled it down to the ones that make me giddy. And I'm deciding not to care how unique or popular they are. Although we are still going to "wait until we see the baby" to decide on our final pick for sure, by golly, this baby is going to have a name! And I am going to just love it!

Engagement Anniversary

2011-08-17T16:42:00.000-07:00

Today we celebrated our 5 year engagement anniversary! I realize not a lot of people remember or celebrate this kind of thing but I always remember it being on my parents' calendar growing up and so I am going with tradition and honoring ours as well. Plus Graham's proposal was pretty over-the-top-amazing so I think it is worth reminiscing. He had no idea what day it was today but I whisked him away with a trunk full of gear and told him I had a little surprise for him. Apparently he connected the dots once we hit the highway to Edmonds and figured out what was going on. This time we had Isla and baby-to-be along which I feel is so fitting--if it hadn't been for this big day 5 years ago, these 2 little people would not be a part of our lives!

I packed a lunch of the "gourmet sandwiches" mentioned below (Shrimp Sandwiches w/ Mango Salsa and Avocado Spread on Baguette)--this time I was determined we would get to eat them!

I'm re-posting an old e-mail that I wrote shortly after the proposal occurred. It's a great reenactment of that wonderful day.

"Big events just don't seem to cease with me lately....Last Thursday was a big day. Things were looking pretty serious with Graham and I but then a few days ago, he gave me this huge talk that he needed more time because he really wanted to have a place to live, have found a church etc. before he proposed. I was so bummed because he's been looking for a place for 6 months + !! Then on Thursday night we went on our weekly date. We'd spent about an hour making these gourmet sandwiches and a nice salad to take for our picnic. I put the sandwiches in the oven to keep them warm while we packed everything else. We arrived at the beach only to find I'd left them in the oven! I was so frustrated with myself and the fact that we didn't have our yummy sandwiches (figures I'd be paying attention to the food....) that I didn't even notice he was acting nervous. We were at a sandy beach overlooking the ocean with a ferry boat just coming into the dock (Edmonds). Anyway, we were busy reading something together and all of a sudden, in the middle of his sentence, he started looking up toward the sound of an airplane. Since he was in the middle of talking, I followed his eyes and looked up too. There was a nice airplane flying above us---that was all I saw. Then I realized it was one of those planes that flies with a banner behind it and I started thinking, how cool, somebody is going to get a message! Then as I started paying closer attention, I saw that the banner read "Kelsie I love you. Will you marry me?" It didn't occur to me for a brief moment that it was MY name with MY spelling on the sign! When it finally clicked, I looked at Graham and saw he was smiling and said (and I quote): 'ARE YOU SERIOUS!??' Then he asked me to marry him and gave me a beautiful ring. The whole beach began to applaud (as well as the people lining the ferry dock). I looked up to realize Lani's fiance had been hiding in the bushes taking pictures of the whole thing. Graham then ran to his car to get his guitar and some sparkling cider to celebrate. He played me a song that he wrote with the whole beach audience. When I got up afterwards to go to the ladies room, a couple women came running up to me to say congrats and to see my ring. Graham's family then appeared from the other side of the ferry where they'd been hiding. Graham said that apparently about 4 planes flew over us before the actual plane and so every time he heard a sound, his heart would pound and he would casually try and look up and see if it had a sign---I didn't even notice. :o) What a fun week! I was all smiles..."

Here we were then (at an engagement party the next day 8/18/06)

And now! (8/17/11)

Still so happy together.... :)

A thing of beauty

2011-08-16T19:53:00.000-07:00

I may be nuts but I just find this image beautiful. There is nothing quite like the satisfaction of a totally delicious meal after an exhausting day. We are going on day 3 in a row of nap strikes which leaves me 38 weeks pregnant and absolutely tired to the core. I suppose the 10 miles I walked yesterday could also have a wee bit to do with it but I'm just plain beat!

I couldn't have picked a better day to serve this cold dinner. All the prep work was completed in the early hours, leaving my oven off during the heat of the day. The Pasta Salad with Green Beans and Pistachios in the Lemon-Thyme Vinaigrette was mentioned in a previous post and I must say I agree that it was 5 star. The lemon zest was so refreshing mixed in with the crisp-tender green beans and the crunchy pistachios. I will definitely be making this vegetarian entree again. Oh and can I just say that my Sour Cherry and Rosemary Focaccia was also well worth the effort. I've never been a huge fan of Ms Stewart but I have to give it to her on this recipe. Isla helped me make it and loved watching the mixer "jump" as it kneaded (yes, the mixer does all the kneading which I just plain adore on a week like this week). The salad is a super simple crowd pleaser that has been a frequent flyer in our house ever since Graham and I travel to Italy. Arugula and sliced pear combine with shaved parmesan and freshly ground pepper. Add a little splash of balsamic and olive oil and voila, it's done!

Oh and just as a little sidenote if you read my earlier "What's for dinner?" post, the quiche was awesome, and so was the Seared Asian Steak salad (it whipped up in a flash). The slow-simmered meat sauce was also quite tasty and nice to come home to after a long day at work and I haven't yet made the Udon Noodle dish. The garlic ribs were awful but I didn't give you the recipe for that anyhow now did I? I must have had a hunch.

Happy eating to all!

Nursing in style

2011-08-16T15:35:00.000-07:00

Is this not the most adorable, reversible Hooter Hider you have ever seen!? My mom made it and gave it to me yesterday and I couldn't be more in love with it!! Seriously, my mom has talent!

Moral of the story

2011-08-15T21:50:00.000-07:00

Today I learned two things:

1) Never go on a 5 mile walk right before your OB appointment.
2) Don't see anyone other than your own doctor at 38 weeks along.

I'll leave out the boring details but basically the gist of it is that I arrived at my appointment with my heart totally still pumping from my walk in the heat only to be told my blood pressure was high (it usually runs on the low side) and that there might be a trace of protein in my urine. The nurse practitioner I had to see today told me she was being super conservative and that my usual doctor is probably going to tell her she went over the top when he finds out but she sent me to have PIH (pregnancy-induced hypertension) labs drawn just to be sure I'm not heading that direction. I knew this or something like it would happen seeing someone other than my regular doctor at this gestation. Oh well. It couldn't be prevented.

The NP said I measured 38 cm (right on) and she touched my belly and said she estimated the fetal weight to be 7 pounds right now (how she can tell from a brief touch is beyond me!) As soon as she heard the heart beat, she blurted out "You're having a boy, right?" I laughed and told her that actually we didn't know but that the heart rate had been running on the lower end at my last few appointments (it was 136 at this one) and I knew about the wives tale that low = boy. She proceeded to call the baby "he" and "him" throughout the remainder of the appointment. She checked and I was only dilated to 1 cm but that the head was right there (this I already knew!!) and she said it looks like they'd see me next week. I optimistically asked "At the hospital?" and she responded "No, here in the office." Darn!

So, I closed out the evening with a 2nd walk, this time only 4 miles. And now I don't think I'll ever get up again. :)

Pregnancy 2: 37 Weeks

2011-08-13T16:54:00.000-07:00

(37 Weeks = TERM! Taken 8/10/11)

-I always wondered why people got so anxious to deliver toward the end of pregnancy. I never felt that with Isla (maybe because she was 12 days early?) Now I have become one of "those people." I am very, very ready to meet this child.

-At my appt Monday, my doctor said I measured smaller and that he was having a hard time feeling the baby's head (by touching the outside of my belly). I believe what he said was that the head was "way down." Yipee! He also said not to get my hopes up but "things are looking really good and history tends to repeat itself" so I should be ready any time.

-My coworkers are now all commenting that it looks like I've dropped. Today the attending neonatologist even told me I look smaller than yesterday. Brownie points for him!

-All this dropping might explain the severe gastrointestinal distress that has accompanied this week. Basically I think the baby is "cramping my style" and causing very painful bloating and gas pains whenever I eat. Gosh, hope this drama is short-lived! It's sort of miserable to be honest.

-All of a sudden I'm getting up ~7 times a night (up from the prior 2) to use the little girl's room. More proof that baby's head is in position. I've also begun to experience some insomnia (I count myself blessed that it is only showing up now!)

-My bag is finally packed and it goes with me when I venture more than 30 minutes from home.

-Every time I start crying lately (which I'll admit is a lot), I wonder "Could this be it?" I had the weirdest surge of uncontrolable emotions a few hours before my water broke with Isla. It makes me wonder if that's the way labor begins for me. But they definitely weren't like "regular" emotions. It was seriously the most insane roller coaster of random waves of emotion ever. I think it scared the bejeebers out of Graham.

-We maybe probably might have a girl name (or two) settled on now. We haven't discussed middle names much though...we'll save that for the ride to the hospital! :)

-I have, on a number of occasions, experienced some major cramping and ever-so-briefly thought to myself "What? Is my period coming?" Then I proceed to slap my forehead and remember Um yeah, those would be CONTRACTIONS! They are coming quite frequently throughout the day now and are definitely not painless like they were the first go around. My dr says this is completely normal.

-Tuesday would be a really convenient day for baby to arrive. A lot of friends/family will be leaving town after that and I'd love for them to meet the wee one.

My Restaurant "Bucket List"

2011-08-09T16:11:00.000-07:00

I just love eating out but usually have the hardest time deciding where I'd like to go. I like to try new places but rarely can think of my "bucket list" of restaurants I want to try when put on the spot. Graham requested I create a written list that can easily be referred to when date night opportunity arises. So here we go, the beginning of my running list!

Spinasse - This place supposedly has the best homemade pasta in all of Seattle.
Sitka and Spruce - A newer restaurant that is receiving rave reviews.
Dahlia Lounge - A Tom Douglas restaurant. I've never eaten his food but he's pretty well known so figure I should try it!
Cactus - A Kirkland hotspot. Although it's not my typical gourmet-type dining choice, people rave about it and so I'd like to try it someday. We attempted to pay them a visit once but Graham wasn't feeling so hot and so we left before we'd even been seated.
poppy - This place seems fun with lots of little bites.
Tavolata - Another place that is supposed to have awesome homemade pastas.
Emmer and Rye - This place looks right up my alley, focusing on seasonal, local cuisine.
Dixies Barbeque - Someday I'd like to go here to "Meet the Man" as this place notoriously calls their HOT sauce. I also really would like to get my hands on a hush puppy and this seems like a pretty good bet.

But then there are always the tried and true favorites that are worth going back to. Here are a few of my top pics:

Eastside Favorites
Barking Frog Restaurant - Attached to the Willows Lodge. You really can't go wrong here. Everything I've ever eaten has been phenomenal. My favorite time to visit is during Seattle Restaurant Week or Dine Around Seattle because you can get 3 courses for quite a steal.
Cafe Juanita - Amazing Italian food served out of a deceptively-boring looking house in Kirkland. To. Die. For.
The Herb Farm - Probably the most expensive meal that will ever pass through my belly but also probably the most amazing dining experience of my life. If anyone ever wants to take me here again, I will love you forever and bake you cookies for life (or something). I am hopeful I will be able to find an occasion special enough to return here.
Purple Cafe and Wine Bar - The food here is always delicious and you can get out the door without breaking the bank, particularly if you bring your own bottle of wine (which they cork for free). My favorite location is the Woodinville one.
The Original Pancake House - I am a sucker for breakfast and this place usually hits the spot!
Gilbert's on Main - I love their weekday petite breakfasts and their gruyere and spinach bagels with whipped cream cheese and homemade jam make me drool.
Cantinetta - I've been to the Bellevue location once and can't wait to go back! It's hip and totally delicious.

Multiple Locations
Julia's - I've only been here for breakfast and the only thing I've ever ordered off their menu is the pancakes but I love them. And will continue to return for them. I always get the buckwheat cakes and order them with everything (blueberries, granola, poppy seeds, chocolate chips and pecans). These always make me a very happy girl.
Paseo - A hole in the wall Caribbean restaurant that serves the best sandwich I have ever eaten. Don't bother with the rice bowls and just order the sandwich marked "Most Popular." You won't regret it. It is amazing. Be sure to note their hours (they are closed Sun/Mon) and that they take cash only.
Pho Than Brothers - How can a meal be bad when it begins with a cream puff? This is another hole in the wall place with delicious pho soup. Squint when you enter (unfortunately cleanliness isn't always their focus) and order #3 (pho with eye of round and well done flank). Graham and I have been known for enjoying $7 date nights by splitting a large (the servings are HUGE!)

Seattle
Brad's Swingside Cafe - This place is so small it doesn't even have a website (but there is apparently one coming soon!) We have been here numerous times on special occasions and have never been disappointed. The Italian food served is complex-we were once told by a waiter that even the salad dressings have no less than 20 ingredients!! The chef sure knows how to marry flavors and I am a huge fan.
Long - This is a more upscale Vietnamese place but we always leave surprised at how inexpensive our total bill is. We like to go here with friends and share various dishes family style. Their spring rolls are delicious and I certainly wouldn't leave without ordering the Grilled Beef Short Ribs or the Braised Savory Coconut in Browned Pork (I think they meant Browned Pork Braised with Savory Coconut...)
Salumi - We've only been here once but their artisan-cured meats are mouth-watering (and I didn't think I liked salami!) We ate salami sandwiches but were also told their meatball sandwiches are worth returning for. They are open for lunch only on Tuesday-Friday and we've been warned to get there early as a line usually forms to circle the block.
Barolo Ristorante - I've been here for happy hour on a couple of occasions but have never dined in the restaurant. The atmosphere is fun with candles dripping wax everywhere and it is usually jam-packed. I recall really enjoying the lamb burger.

Pregnancy 2: 36 Weeks

2011-08-06T14:13:00.000-07:00

(Taken at 36 weeks, 8/3/11. By the way, has anyone else noticed I'm looking more and more tired in all these photos? Gotta work on that!)

The countdown is on!! It's time to make your bet!! Boy? Girl? Birthdate? Weight (of baby, NOT me)?

Here's mine:

GIRL

August 16th (wishful thinking I know!)

7 pounds, 8 ounces

Here's Graham's:

GIRL

August 15th (he thinks my working 4 days in a row will facilitate some action)

8 pounds

So far everything is checking out great at all my doctor appointments. I'm thankful for a healthy pregnancy so far! At my appointment last week, my doctor said "Wow! This baby is growing!" and left it at that. I had to interrogate him a bit to get more info to make sure his comment was positive. He is calling this baby "medium" and says Isla was also "medium" (she was 7lb, 4 oz at birth). My next appointment is on Monday so I'll be close to 37 weeks then we'll start weekly appointments from there.

I caught a cold last week which was pretty miserable but it is past now. It might be my pre-labor routine as the same happened with Isla. However, she came mid-illness because I recall not being able to breathe through my nose during labor which was quite lovely.

For the most part, I've caught myself saying that I am more comfortable this month than I was in months past. There were some pretty rough days during the week of my cold when I cried over the old lady state of my body (oh the things no one ever warns you about!) but all in all, I'm feeling pretty good.

I think we finally settled on a boy name this week! I adore it and so does Graham. It was a front runner for Miss Isla had she been a boy. The girl name is a different story. I think we have at least 11 or 12 names on our running list but can't seem to settle on any of them. We LOVE Isla's name so much and can't seem to agree on a good match. Please don't judge us if we have a name-less child for a few days (or weeks).

This week my coworkers have lavished me with many positive compliments for which I'm so grateful! I've heard: "You're the picture-perfect pregnant person," "You look great," and "You can't possibly be that far along." YES PEOPLE! THIS is what a pregnant girl needs to hear!! I see absolutely no reason to mention my back fat thank you very much.

My weight gain has tapered off over the past few weeks. I've stayed about the same for ~3 weeks which is good because I'm just over the high end of goal (by 1 pound only!) The baby must be stealing from stores I built up in earlier trimesters because he/she continues to grow!

Newsflash: I went camping last weekend at 35 weeks pregnant! Not something I would necessarily recommend but now I can say I did it. We only went for one night (because we'd all been down and out with colds) and it was a good thing because I got ~2.5 hr sleep.

I have been feeling SO excited this week to meet this little one. I mean, way excited.

The shelf we bought months ago is finally up in the kids' room, newborn diapers are set out and ready, I have a box of newborn boy stuff from my sister washed and ready should it be needed, I have what I can set out for my hospital bag....I'd say we're just about ready! Oh, except for that name thing. Details....

What's for dinner?

2011-08-05T23:17:00.000-07:00

I love my post-grocery shopping fridge. Opening the door and seeing my produce and cheese drawers bursting at the seams always fills me with great excitement for the week of meals to come. Although the process of menu planning isn't my favorite, I LOVE the satisfaction of having a week's worth of food ready and waiting. I'm pretty sure every time I grocery shop I think to myself "Oh, I should blog about this!" But then I never get around to it. I'm making no guarantees but this may be my first installment of a new theme of blog posts entitled "What's for dinner?" Maybe I can inspire you to try something new?

Today I was able to stop off at Bill Pace Fruit & Produce stand in Bellevue which I adore. I always leave that place with at least 3 jam-packed bags of produce for usually only ~$15-20. Most of it is local and all of it is delicious. Today's steals included fresh peaches, organic lettuce, green beans, pattypan squash, grapefruits and oranges, carrots, red bell peppers and a yellow watermelon. Ok people so I have a new favorite food: yellow watermelon. Oh. My. Goodness. Pregnancy brings about a strange obsession with watermelon in me but seriously, this was the best melon I have ever tasted. It was grown in Yakima and absolutely dripping juice everywhere. It was so sweet and wonderful that I almost made Graham stop on his way home from work to buy at least 3 more. Amazing!

It's going to be a busy week over here as I'm working FIVE whole days which = full time! Yes, as a matter of fact, I AM trying to put myself into labor. I haven't worked this much for precisely two years so it made my menu planning a bit more challenging. I think I settled on a good mix of quick and easy, make ahead and slow-cooker options, at least for my work nights. Here is what we'll be eating over the course of the week:

-Zucchini, Bacon and Mozzarella Quiche using zucchini from my very own garden
-Udon Noodle Salad with Broccoli and Spicy Tofu
-Seared Asian Steak & Mushrooms on Mixed Greens w/ a Ginger Dressing along w/ a Tomato, Feta & Basil Galette
-Cilantro Garlic Ribs, Rice, Sauteed Pattypan Squash with Basil and Feta
-Slow-Simmered Meat Sauce (Beef & Spicy Italian Sausage) over Bowties
-Fusilli Salad with Green Beans, Pistachios and a Lemon-Thyme Vinaigrette

Is anyone drooling as much as I am? All of these recipes are completely new to me so I make no guarantees but personally I think they sound delicious! I also have plans to make a few pre-baby freezer meals but I'll leave that for another post. Hope you're indulging in all the goodies this season has to offer!

Sour Puss

2011-08-05T15:39:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up feeling blue. I glanced out the window and saw the clouds and immediately wanted to crawl back under the covers and start over. My sister had kindly offered to take Isla for a few hours to give me some time to myself but the gray skies were ruining my plans to swim laps and sun bathe alone with my book at the pool. I had a discouraging day at work yesterday that left me feeling under-valued and wondering why I've invested this much of my (and others'!) time to be there. I went to bed angry and woke up sad that I hadn't kissed my husband goodnight. I feel far too emotional to be allowed to reside on this planet and can't seem to figure out how I can roller coaster so rapidly from one extreme to the other. There it is. A real day in the life. It's been an icky 24 hours.

I'm ready for a re-do. It's quiet in the house now (it's naptime!) and so I spent some time paging through 2 Timothy and reflecting. I just love it how the Lord give me gems of encouragement (and a little kick in the pants) when they are most needed! In reading these four chapters, I was struck by how selfish I can be, by how good I really have it. The minor dramas in my life are just that: minor. Chapter 4 struck a chord with me the most today.

Verse 2: "Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage--with great patience and careful instruction." Wow. That's a good one for me and my mama duties. The day is only half over and my patience expired hours ago. Oh how I long to be able to do just as this verse says!

Verse 5: "But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry." Basically, press on!

And finally, the desire of my heart is that I would one day be able to say the words of verses 7-8 with full confidence: "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day--and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing."

I'm ready to turn this Friday around and get this weekend kicked off to a marvelous start! I may not be lying by the pool but I have all the fixings to whip up a homemade iced caramel macchiato that I plan to sip from the patio!

Perspective

2011-08-03T12:15:00.000-07:00

Graham asked me a few weeks back what I'm most looking forward to after having this baby.

My first thought (and therefore what I said): "Being able to bend over!! What's yours?"

Graham: "Oh. I was more thinking finally getting to meet the baby and find out what it is and getting to be together as a family."

Hmmmm. Guess it's all a matter of perspective. :)